I've never had it. I don't like saying the word. I don't want to even THINK about it. But I have scheduled an appointment for my very first surgery and I'm scared to death!
Would I like to enhance "the girls" with some augmentation? Nah. I'm okay with what I have. Maybe after some kiddos, I may consider a lift. From what I hear, I will need it fo sho!
Rhinoplasty? Nope. I've seen how they perform this disgusting surgery and it makes me want to vomit. I'm okay with a larger beak than most. I'm convinced that I have a great smeller due to its ginormous size! (This is both good and bad..just so you know.)
How about a little Liposuction? If I wasn't such a cry baby (and if I hadn't seen this procedure done before) I would be ALL OVER IT! I've got numerous cottage cheese areas that are in need of some minor repair work but it's called WORKING OUT. I should try to do that more often.
Nope, the surgery I have to endure, Laparoscopy surgery, is a simple outpatient procedure that my doctor will perform in a hospital to check out my girly parts for abnormalities. I HATE HOSPITALS!! Just for the record, it doesn't give me piece of mind to know that it's a "simple" surgery. They still have to cut me wide open (okay...so it's a very small cut) on the abdomen in 2 places and I've never been cut open before except for the one time I sliced my thumb open while cutting potatoes at the in-laws. I'm freakin' out here!
So why do I have to have this done? My doctor saw a little something (or nothing) on my ultrasound that was growing outside of my ovaries and she wants to "take a look around". It's not for another 4 weeks and I wish it was happening tomorrow. My anxiety is through the roof and I don't know if I'll make it four weeks. I think I need a beverly. Like...right now..and every night for the next 4 flippin' weeks.
The GREAT news is that this "small" procedure is all mine for the extremely low cost of $5,000 to which my part will be exactly half since I have a $2,500 deductible. Lovely. Thank you insurance company!
To top off this magical day, imagine my surprise, while signing my pre-op forms, that I had to say that it was okay if I die. DIE?? ARE YOU FREAKING SERIOUS??? I DON'T WANT TO DIE!! To which the nurse replies, "You can die getting your teeth cleaned. We just have to put that on there for legal reasons." Well listen here little pregnant nurse lady...I no longer like you and please don't be present for my "simple outpatient surgery", ok?
I'm sure a number of you (including my friends IRL) have done this procedure and it's no big deal. The best news of all is I get to take a prescription pain pill, (AKA my new best friend) called Vicodin for a few days! Awesome!
If you have a prayer list, please add me to it somewhere near the top but for sure not at the bottom, ok? Thanks!
P.S. Due to my high anxiety, I've self declared tomorrow PAMPER IMPULSIVELY DAY! I will be getting my hair did, receiving a 1.5 hour massage and a pedicure. What? Don't you judge me! I deserve this.....just don't tell M. =) I'll let you know how it goes.
29 peeps showin' some love:
You are not alone...surgery scares the HELL out of me too.
I'm adding you to the prayer list...and here i thought you were going to get something super cool like a boob job (NOT that you need one lol)...way to disappoint a girl!
P.S. I tagged you on my blog.
You didn't tell me this you hooker!!!
I be prayin for you sister. Is it here in Mytown? If you need ANYTHING please let me know. You know I'm here for ya!
Oh and augmentation...totally thought you were going for that and way jealous. I feel it's in my near future...hopefully. I just need something to fill my A's and maybe a little more ;)
A tear came to my eye reading this!
WHY! WHY YOU!!! Out of all the bloggers in the world, why you!!
Oh lady! I'm sorry to hear that you have to have surgery, but it will probably be a breeze! and I'm sure it's nothing serious. It's good that they are checking things out though. Seriously!
I will be thinking of you and praying for ya!
You'll definitely be at the top of my prayer list...along with the baby in the tummy, I'll add "simple outpatient surgery". It's good that your dr. is being thorough. I'm thinking the pampering...hair did, massage...a beverly...those all sound like good remedies for anxiety. I'm feeling anxious can I come along?
I will be praying for you girl. I feel your pain. I as well am freaking about my little surgery - I will call to pick your brain about soon - be ready. I am glad your doctors are be agressive with whatever they saw. Good luck and happy thoughts to you.
I will absolutely be praying for you. I have had that same surgery before due to having endometriosis.
As far as augumentation...it was the best $7,000 I ever made my jacka** of an ex husband spend!
lol Cheryl is TOO funny with her comments..
anywho, i hope the procedure goes well for you! I would say "dont be nervous" but I think it would be hypocritical of me, cuz i would be scared crapless as well if i were you.
You are on my prayer list. I know surgery sucks. You DESERVE the pampering, girl!
You are so funny! You go have yourself a pampering day!!
I too had something growing on my ovary and it turns out it was growing around my entire ovary and was the size of a very large grapefruit...but, I had been having female troubles for about three years. I had to have major abdominal surgery in October to have my right ovary removed! I too was frrreakkkking out!! I had never had surgery. But, it wasn't too horrible. I was only under for 45 minutes.
So, I know this probably won't help you to freak out less, but you will be ok! :) And, I will totally put you on my prayer list!!
Have fun pampering yourself tomorrow!
Mel..so sorry I disappointed you (M says I'm really good at that)and thanks for the TAG!
Annie..yep..it's in Yotown which is a L O N G drive for me but hopefully it will be worth it in the end!
Cheryl...you're funny. I'm sorry I made you shed a tear. Shame on me.
Steph..thank you!!
Jenny..I would LOVE for you to tag along! I need more friends here in Smallville. It's lonely! Thanks for adding me to the top! =)
Kelli..you will be just fine! It's a breeze! Tell Dr. K hello for me. Thanks for the prayers.
Soladay...way to go, girl! Maybe I should have M pay for my lift now in case I die during my surgery. I don't want any saggage in the casket!
CA...well now I'm really freaked out. Thanks! =) J/K
Terri...thanks! And get a blog, ok?
Marcia..that sounds aweful and I want no part of that business!! Let's pray that I get to keep the ovaries. I need them! Thanks for the prayers!
Oh dear. yes, I hate that pre surgery form...always freaks me out.
Please Please Please email me if you need support regarding this surgery. I've had it before. It's for endometriosis. I'm not good with surgery, AT ALL.
yayaorangenanny@yahoo.com
Also, for more support is Jeanne's Endo Blog. She's had these types of surgery several times:
www.endendoat.blogspot.com
Hey girl...you survived your last trip to the hospital with flying colors! :) My mom just had that procedure done and it went well. Hope you are doing well. Call me and I will fill you in on my latest developments in my love life! :) Take Care!
Impulsive Addict,
Hi! I'm the Jeanne that Alicia (aka Yaya) mentioned above. She sent me an email about you after seeing your laparoscopy post. She wanted to "send you some support".
I have endometriosis and I have had 7 surgeries. Six of them were laparoscopies and 1 was a laparotomy ("major surgery") with a large incision. In that major surgery, I had 2 surgeons working as a team. One removed the endo. The other (a colorectal surgeon) removed a foot of my colon. While they were in there, they discovered a carcinoid tumor on my appendix. So out went the appendix.
I TOTALLY understand your fears and anxiety about having surgery.
Don't hesitate to email me with any questions you have about laparoscopy... because I have had 6 of them!
Here's my email address (written out to foil the robots/spammers): endendo [at] frontiernet [dot] net
Here's my surgery history:
1992: 1st laparoscopy, diagnosed w/endo. Unfortunately, this Dr ended up being a real jerk. I got the correct diagnosis… just no pain relief.
1993: 2nd lap with a more skilled doc who went in and got what the first GYN missed!!
1994: 3rd lap... more endo removed
1996: laparotomy with hemicolectomy/bowel resection due to malrotated colon/paraduodenal hernia that was causing partial intestinal blockage, endo removed again, carcinoid tumor/appendix removed
2003: 4th lap... endo removed again, interstitial cystitis diagnosed via cystoscopy the same day while under anesthesia. (IC and endo often co-exist in the same patient)
2004: 5th lap... believe it or not, the pelvic pain specialist I now see (highly skilled with endo) did not find any endo in this surgery! However, he diagnosed me during this surgery with pelvic congestion syndrome (by also doing a venography to confirm). He also removed a 3" cyst (non-endo type cyst) from my left ovary. This cyst was a "normal" type of cyst that any menstruating woman could have (as far as tissue type) but clearly it needed to be removed since it was 3"!
2008: 6th lap... this lap was for the purpose of cutting a nerve. Nerve cutting is a "last resort" type procedure. I had off the charts pain for several years leading up to this surgery and had gotten nerve blocks, etc. This was one of the 2 out of 7 surgeries where endo was not found. This surgery didn't go as planned. Let’s just say 2 nerves were cut (despite me consenting to one) and the results of the surgery were not good with the nerve cutting (long story). Nothing for you to worry about! Totally different kind of lap.
I’ve had 6 laps so I have lots of personal experience plus I know a slew of people who have had laps as well.
So, if you have questions about laparoscopy, I'm here to help!
Here are some of the "tips" I suggest to women having a laparoscopy:
1) Find out how experienced your surgeon is. Some docs know far more about endo than others. You don't want to have extra surgeries down the road because the first surgery didn't give you the most "bang for your buck". I do not want to increase your anxiety in any way but having a surgeon who really knows endo is really crucial when going into a lap for the reasons you mentioned.
2) Try to relax. It is totally understandable that you are anxious about having surgery --- but worrying about it isn't healthy for you. Whatever coping mechanisms you have to get through the next few weeks without fixating on the lap will help you. Some examples might be: relaxing music, candles (if you're not allergic like me), meditation, acupuncture (VERY HELPFUL!!!!), vegging out & watching TV, blogging, etc... Whatever will distract you from thinking about it will help. Getting all worked up about the lap will get stress hormones going in your body. Not helpful.
3) OK. The surgery. Yes, it's surgery. Yes, it's outpatient. Yes, it's easier than an inpatient (major) surgery... like the 1996 laparotomy that I had.
However, here is a heads up.
In my personal opinion, doctors minimize the recovery time most women need after a lap.
I started a local endo support group in 2001. (That group is where I met Alicia). I have heard many, many stories from women about their recovery time exceeding what doctors predict. DON’T be scared by this but DO give your body TIME and REST after the surgery to properly recover. It’s very important to get rest afterwards!
I've been in endo support groups (the local, in-person kind) since 1992. I have talked with MANY women who have had laps.
I started my blog last June and have heard many more women's stories.
Between the support groups and the blogging, I have heard hundreds of women's stories about their laps. I can try my best to answer any questions you might have.
Obviously I can't give medical advice but I can share my personal experience and the stories of hundreds of other women.
Anesthesia has improved immensely over the years. My last couple of laps were much, much better.
So you are most likely not going to have the type of anesthesia side effects that were common in the 1990s.
The doctor inflates the abdomen with carbon dioxide to allow for better visualization. The laparoscope is used differently by different docs (i.e. number of incisions).
The small naval incision is a given. The question is how many other incisions the doc chooses to make.
Additional incisions allow for instruments to be inserted in multiple locations. (Essentially the doctor can see what's going on much better with the extra instruments/incisions).
If the doc sees something that looks like endo, he/she takes it out. A biopsy is done of the tissue to verify that it's endometrial tissue. Don't be scared by the word biopsy. It's just what they use to tell if it is/isn't endometrial tissue.
Doctors can't always tell endo just by looking at it.
Anyway, assuming you have endo... the doc will remove it, then stitch up the very small incisions (don't worry, they are small), and they'll wheel you off to the recovery room.
You'll wake up... probably feeling pretty feeling foggy. (Everyone's different in how they react to anesthesia). The nurses in recovery will watch you and they have certain criteria to follow on when to switch you from recovery back to your outpatient "room". (It's one of those rooms with curtains for sides but it’s a room).
Once you get to your room, your loved one (hubby in my case, mother in the early years) will tell you what the Dr said about how your surgery went.
You won't talk with the Dr directly until your post-op appt. So it’s important for your loved one to really listen to what the doc says re: how the surgery went, what was found, etc. My husband's phone can do audio recordings. I had him record what the Dr said about my surgery (with the doctor's permission to record his comments). Or the loved one could jot some notes down re: what the doc said post-op.
That way, I didn't have to anxiously wait the 1-2 weeks after surgery to get to the post-op appt & find out what the heck happened. That wait would drive me bonkers!
The post op appts used to always be 1 week after but nowadays they seem to be more like 2. (I personally think 1 week was better).
Anyway, TAKE IT EASY after surgery. Lie down, definitely no lifting, rest, rest, and rest.
Docs tend to minimize when it comes to laps. Surgery is surgery. Yes, you'll be sore. But the pain meds will help and the more rest you get the better you'll feel.
If you try to get too active too soon, it's not good. I've made that mistake. Trust me. You'll want plenty of rest afterwards.
4) Recovery at home... Everyone is different but I would plan on having a very sedentary week after surgery. Some people find it helpful to have a loved one help out. For example, my mother-in-law stayed with us after one of my laps. She took care of my daughter, who was in pre-school at the time while I rested and my husband was at work.
It helps to plan ahead for whatever help you may need.
Don't let anyone pressure you to do too much too soon. Don't buy into any guilt trips. Your body will need time to recover.
Recovery is much better now post-lap than in years past. Docs are better at getting the carbon dioxide out. This is huge because back in the 1990s, I'd get these terrible chest and shoulder pains post-lap and it was the CO2. The good news is docs have improved greatly on getting the CO2 out!
REST, REST, REST
5) Results of lap... if they find that you do have endo, you'll have the proper diagnosis that will enable you to get whatever treatment is appropriate for you.
If it's not endo, the laparoscopy will enable them to look around for other issues.
So the good news is that it's highly likely that this lap will give you some answers or insight or relief... regardless of what it is that they find!
6) I know you're scared. I don't know anyone who doesn't have some fears going into a surgery. These feelings are normal. A first surgery is often scarier because of the whole "fear of the unknown" factor.
That is why I wrote some of the stuff above. While it may not all sound fun, I personally would rather go into something like a lap armed with info than head into "the unknown".
I can provide you lots more info offline if you like.
I have blogged extensively about endo and many women comment on my blog that have not yet had a lap to confirm their endo but strongly suspect they have it.
Feel free to look through my blog because you may find info there that's helpful to you heading into surgery.
I'm generally faster moderating comments than answering direct emails but you're welcome to contact me via either method. :)
I'm sorry to have babbled on so. I just wanted to try to make you feel better. Alicia's email to me had your link and mentioned you were heading into your 1st lap. So I just wanted to stop by and let you know that I'm available if you need an ear or if you have lap questions.
Having had 6 of them, I've learned a few things along the way. :)
I know it's scary and I know the wording on those forms can be freaky.
What may give you some peace of mind is to set up a health care proxy. Sounds complicated but it's not!
You can get the form at any hospital. Here's what I did. I listed my husband as my health care proxy. If I'm unable to advocate for myself or I'm incapacitated in some way, I authorize him to make medical decisions on my behalf.
For example, with my last surgery... I explicitly told my doctor in the pre-op appt "I do not want to have a hysterectomy unless there's cancer”. I went over my wishes in detail with my husband. I designated him as my health care proxy.
That way, I have the peace of mind that my wishes are being respected (say, protecting fertility) while I'm under anesthesia.
That made me feel better. I believe it's so important for patients to advocate for themselves and to delegate that duty to someone they trust if/when they are going to be unable to speak for themselves.
I'm sorry to get all serious on you. It's not all doom and gloom!
They might find endo, remove it, and help you somehow (pain relief? fertility?)
I know MANY women who have had laps that would be happy to talk with you about their experiences. If that would give you any comfort or peace of mind, let me know!
I'm a big believer that "fear of the unknown" is far worse than reality most of the time. Knowing what to expect may calm you down heading into this surgery.
I have posts about coping mechanisms, the healing power of music, relaxation etc. You may find something on my blog that will "calm your nerves" a bit about the lap.
Hang in there!!!! When I read your post and heard how worried you sound about surgery, I felt compelled to respond with this detailed comment because I want to help!
So, use these next few weeks to prepare. Take advantage of the notice to make arrangements for your recovery period, for example. Instead of dreading the wait for your lap, use this time to use or develop coping techniques, relaxation, stress reduction, etc.
I know you'll be relieved to get the surgery behind you. That's understandable. However, if you use this time to prepare, physically and mentally, things will go much more smoothly than you might think.
I hope this comment makes sense. I've had terrible insomnia and have been getting very little sleep lately. So I'm feeling dizzy and out of it right now from being so tired. So I apologize if this comment is talking in circles at all.
I'm exhausted and in pain and on my last little bit of energy right now.
I hope something in here is helpful!!
Again, don't hesitate to contact me if you have questions or just need to talk to someone who has had numerous lap before.
I'm sending positive energy your way and wishing you a smooth surgery and recovery.
Remember... after the surgery:
REST, REST, REST :)
Take care and try to relax... For me, acupuncture is at the top of my list when trying to calm down!
Have a wonderful night! :)
{{Hugs}}
I'm around if you need me!!!
Jeanne
I hope you enjoyed your SPA Day!
I'll include you in my prayer list.
For what it's worth, my BFF had had 3 laps due to 'female trouble' and there were zero problems she had quick recoveries.
God Bless.
You will be in my thoughts. You know me- I'd be axin' my doctor for a little help in the anxiety meds department (but I'm super anxious and telling me not to worry is like telling me not to breath). Attivan is pretty mild. Maybe axe for an Ambien for the night before or a Xanax the night before just so you can rest/chillax.
Sorry you are going through this. I hope it is easier than you think it will be.
Holly
I have had two laproscopies (To look for endometrisois). They are really simple. You may have a little pain when you wake up, but I promise you will be up and about within 3 or 4 days! :) DEEP BREATH.
Yaya...as always, thanks!! You're a big help!
Traci...yes, how could I forget my last trip to the ER! Hopefully this year, when I go to camp, I'll be able to enjoy it! I'M SHOPPING FOR GIFTS!!
Schmoochiepoo...thanks! And yes, I had a GREAT spa day! *Got my toes did today too!!*
Mama...chillaxin' sounds amazing. I may need a pill to help with that. Good thinkin'!! I wonder if I could use it EVERY DAY until the surgery?
Jen...thanks for the advice. I'm still nervous but I'm realizing how common this procedure is so maybe my chances of dying are minimal! *fingers crossed*
You are at the tippy top of my prayer list. (You and Katy ... who is hallucinating ceiling fans at the moment.)
I have never had this surgery done when we were going through all our fertility issues - but it sounds like Alicia and Jeanne have got you all taken care of!
These next four weeks will fly, I'm telling you. I'll pray that they do!
ahhh i would be sooo scared to go through surgery, i hope all goes well for you! Hope?? I meant im SURE all will go well!
Ugh, i need some breast augmentation! after having my son my boobs are so saggy and nasty haha
OMG...lovin your new layout! You need to fill a sister in on how you did this!
I don't understand why people would go for surgery willingly as well...
I mean if it's something to do with health, then sure... but to spend all that money on re-arranging yourself... not sure if I can do it :|
Welcome to the club, even if you didn't want to join. You will be just fine. Hopefully, you won't have to enter all the clubs that I've had to join over the years. The most important one and the one that really matters is that you WILL be a member of the mommy club.
Love you,
Rhonda
Ugh, I'm so sorry to hear about this. Man, I was thinking about all my funny remarks about how I would NEVER turn down plastic surgery (I have a good smeller and would LOVE a boob job), but then I just got the sadz for you. :o(
That sucks azz that they scheduled it four weeks out. Wish I could do something to help!
Just came across your blog from ReRe's. I love it & can't wait to read more. My doctor has mentioned a laprascopy for possible endometriosis. I'm as anxious as you are and I haven't even had to schedule mine! I do wish you a speedy recovery and you'll have to post how it goes!
-Rose
IA,
Just checking back in to see how you're doing.
While some women are fortunate enough to be up and about in 3-4 days, everyone is different. This is not meant to make you anxious in any way.
I firmly believe it's important to be informed about the different possibilities since you don't know what your case will be like. I've had surgeries take 45 minutes and I had 1 surgery take 5.5 hours.
Having a lap for them "to go in and look around" and finding nothing to work on differs from a lap where extensive tissue removal is done.
While it's important to reassure you that it's minor surgery and that the recovery time is quick compared to lots of other kinds of surgery, it's also important not to go in with unrealistic expectations.
The degree of pain varies from person to person and is tied to what exactly is done during the surgery (and your individual body's response).
I have made the mistake of being too active after a lap and it's not worth it. After 6 laparoscopies and 1 laparotomy, I have learned it is not worth rushing recovery time.
Hopefully you're finding some distractions or coping mechanisms now to help you bridge the gap between now and your lap date.
Keep in touch and try to relax as best you can. :)
Jeanne
Impulsive Addict,
Yup, I'm sure it does sound scary. It was also probably scary when they said "we see something around your ovary area that we'd like to take a better look at". Those words can send panic even through the most "normal" of us. ALL medical and health related procedures have to have a similar disclosure related to the risks of pursuing whatever particular treatment it is you're signing your life away on. I'm a social worker and I have to tell my clients that by them not getting treatment for their children's behaviour problems could lead to more significant behaviour problems later in life and the development of a pathology based upon a life of crime (in other words, you don't get your child treated, they could end up a career criminal). These are 4-5 year old children.
I've had 3 laps now and countless D&C's, as well as many other invasive procedures done just to make sure that I was poked and prodded enough from every angle. My first surgery was done due to a growth (later found to be endo) that had cut off the blood flow to my left kidney making me one very sick chick). I was terrified going into this one because for years I had been told that there was nothing wrong with me and the pain and other symptoms were all in my head.
I was terrified before lap #2 because a few doctors had suggested to me that lap #1 should have cured me. Well then why was I about to go under the knife again?! They found stage 4 endo as well as my stage 1A endometrial cancer.
Lap #3 I was terrified because I was worried about the cancer having completely made a life of its own in the beautiful environment that I was offering it. I was worried that the endo wouldn't be that bad. That I wouldn't be able to give my future husband a biological child of his own (I have a 5 year old miracle son right now).
It's been 5 years post-lap#3 for me. You can barely see any of my scars at all. In fact I proudly wear a bikini (At 100lbs I have this luxury), in hopes of sharing off my battle wounds that have made me stronger. After several miscarriages, I'm also miraculously pregnant again with baby #2 due in October.
Be strong, ask questions, and if you don't feel comfortable with the doctor you have chosen for the surgery, search out someone who you do feel comfortable with!
Melissa Ralston
http://endobattle.blogspot.com
Well, at least you'll get some answers; I'm sure it will all work out. Good luck.
Ok Kid! YOU are too dang stubborn to have ANY kind of complications on this "simple" surgery! You will be fine and yes... you are at the TOP of my prayer list! Hang in there, let me know what I can do and know we're praying! Love you!! By the way... you do know Jesus right? LOL! I know the answer to that one...remember... I made sure of that answer before you flew over the stinkin ocean!!!
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