Cheers to you and you and you!

Hey bloggy friends!  I made it through Christmas (in case you were wondering) but I'm still on vacation--nowhere warm like I usually am.  Nope, we traded the sandy beaches, fruity drinks and massages by my cute cabana boy named Jose, for a trip up North where the temps are about -20 degrees with 200 feet of snow on the ground so I've been a little too cold to blog.  You understand, right?  I'll be home from this ginormous freezing cold vacation on Sunday (thank you baby Jesus) to where I can resume normal blogging activities from the privacy of my own couch.  In the meantime, I'll be having a drink or two or ten just for you tonight!

Be safe, no drinking and driving, and CHEERS to a new and WONDERFUL 2011!  

My 12 Days of Christmas REVEALED!

I signed up for Sami's 12 Days of Christmas swap and I have to say that I was excited yet apprehensive. I was excited because I LOOOOVE shopping and buying for others (especially for someone NEW because it becomes a challenge but then I get scared and freak out thinking they may totally HATE my gift ideas but I settle down eventually after many drinks). I get apprehensive because I'm sure we've all received gifts from people that aren't exactly what you had in mind, right?  Did anyone else ever receive a frisbee, used yo-yo, and slinky during a Secret Santa swap? No?  I did. No, I'm not joking. That is a true story.  But Sami hooked me up with a most EXCELLENT partner.  She gave me Shawn.  I heart Shawn.  I want to be Shawn on most days.  She's kind, considerate, funny, sassy (and you all know how much I love that quality) and most importantly, she has become a close friend that one day I hope to meet IRL.  If you don't read her already, you should. I think if I refer you, she said she would pay me lots of money so make sure you tell her I sent you.  Okay, so without further a-du, I would LOVE to show you my 13 AMAZING gifts from my girl, Shawn.

When I picked up my box from the post office, I was excited enough to pee my pants.  Seriously!  I rushed home to open my package and place MY gifts under my tree.

All the wrapping and tissue matched and she wrote me a sweet lovely note.  Please notice how nicely packed everything is.  You will need to know this for later.

Did you notice I said I got 13 gifts?  It's because she threw in a "bonus gift".   She's super sweet. She also wrote me a little note with every gift.  Of course they were all numbered since she's a self-proclaimed CONTROL FREAK.  I didn't mind one bit.  I numbered hers too because I like to be the boss.

BONUS GIFT!

She handmade me ornaments, y'all!  She's so creepy talented and for that, I hate her.

Day 1

Look at what she made for us?  She made COASTERS with our family pictures on them!  I literally cried.  This may be my favorite Christmas gift.  Unless M booked me a romantic holiday trip to somewhere tropical, I think Shawn takes the prize.

Day 2

Day 2 was sad.  She had 4 amazing Pier One margarita glasses that would have looked awesome while I was holding one at my next dinner party but sadly, they didn't make it.  YOU SUCK USPS.

Day 3

Are these cocktail napkins not the cutest?  They both describe me perfectly.  My friends IRL will say so because I'm sassy like that.

Day 4

She had a whole "theme" going on with the first 4 gifts and I liked it.  This little bottle of precious liquid will be put to good use.  I'm going to the in-laws for the holidays.  I will be packing this in my overnight bag in case of an emergency. Otherwise, it will be consumed on New Years Eve.  Shawn, I will air toast you before I drink it.

Day 5

This went straight on my key chain.  I love personalized gifts.  They make me happy!

Day 6

Look how gorgeous my new blogging BFF is in my new picture frame!  She could have totally been a model for this picture frame company, no?  I think I'll send them this picture.  I'm sure they would totally agree and send me lots of money for suggesting it.  

Day 7 

Who doesn't like to pamper themselves with the amazing smells from Bath and Body?  If you haven't tried Japanese Cherry Blossom, go check it out! It's one of my favs.

Day 8

Ask anybody that knows me and they will tell you I HATE being cold and my feet are ALWAYS cold. It makes me irritable and grumpy and bitchy on all kinds of levels.  I even wear slippers in the summer sometimes.  Well, I am now the proud owner of an amazing pair of vanilla scented, shay infused socks.  I put these bad boys on the day after opening them and they stayed on my feet until my shower the next day.  They are warm and fuzzy and my toes are happy.  (As it turns out, my friend IRL, JennyKate, also gave me a pair of these amazing socks as part of a dirty santa gift exchange with my RHOK girls.)  So TAKE THAT people!  I have TWO pairs now!  And yes, I'm keeping them both.  

Day 9

Every greatly-skilled amazingly talented baker needs an apron and I am no exception because I am ALL of those things (but I'm also messy, I break things, burn things, and spill things while in the kitchen).  I had an apron but I can't find it anywhere but who cares now?  This apron is WAY cuter than the one I had.   

Day 10

Day 10 remains

We had a third casualty with day 10's gift. I'm pretty sure it was a cute little glass jar for me to hide store my chocolates in but it didn't survive the stupid USPS workers.  The candy didn't survive either because I ate it all.  In 2 days.  I have no self control.  Can I buy some of that?

Day 11

A book thong!  How cute is that name?  This is a fancy bookmark, my friends!  I'm feelin' pretty high class.  They have come a long way since the old fashioned bookmarks that I used to have. I read almost every night before going to bed so this was a PERFECT gift!

Day 12

And finally, the most amazing smelling candle EVER!  It went straight to my bathroom and on my jetted tub ledge, so I can enjoy a relaxing bath via candle light and bubbles.  I ♥ bath time.

Shawn, you ROCKED MY WORLD (in a non-sexual way of course) with all these AMAZING Christmas gifts.  I'm so blessed to have you as my new bloggy friend and someone who I hope to meet IRL (but not in the summer so I don't have to see you bathing poolside in your bikini).  We would be most excellent drinking partners with our love for all things Patron.  I had a GREAT time shopping for you and hope you enjoy your gifts as much as I will enjoy mine.


Thanks to you too, Sami, for hosting another amazing swap and I'm looking forward to your next one! 



Go check out Sami HERE.
Go check out Shawn HERE.
Go check out JennyKate HERE
And of course, go check out my RHOK girls HERE.


P.S.  I'm MIA right now but I'll be back in the next couple of days to stalk you and comment.  I hope you all had a VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Sweaters and Trees and Santas, OH MY!

You won't find me on here today but you will find me on HERE posting as Mrs. Coco instead.  Please come check out some awesome Christmas sweaters, trees that you only wish you had in your house, and the BEST OF THE BEST Santa's that are making fortunes granting wishes to little childrens in Oklahoma.  You won't be sorry!

Weekend Wrap-Up and MckLinky Monday!

The lovely Mrs. Bundy over at the RHOK wants to know what my favorite ornaments are.  


As some of you may know, this is my FIRST YEAR to put up a Christmas tree in the 8+ years I've been married but I've ALWAYS had ornaments. I have SO MANY favorites!  They are all special in one way or another but I've gathered up some of my absolute favs for your viewing pleasure.

I'm having trouble sizing these up. You may have trouble viewing these. 
It's late. 
I'm tired. 
You will have to find a way to deal with it, m'kay?


Go link up by clicking HERE.  They are super cool girls! *wink, wink*

On to my WEEKEND WRAP-UP....

Mr. Impulsive's work Christmas party was on Saturday night. I booked my trusty babysitter 3 weeks ago.  Guess what?  She cancelled Saturday morning to go to a basketball game.  I KID YOU NOT.


I didn't have a back-up plan so I called Mom.  Lucky for us, my mom was willing to drive half way to meet us (40 minute drive) to pick up Miss Emma and take her for the night. Whew.  Problem solved.  Mom's are AWESOME.


M's company knows how to throw a good party!

Appetizers: Shrimp cocktail, cheese/crackers, buffalo wings, deli meat tray, ranch dip (a MUST for the wings, duh)  Yes, I ate all of these things.


Dinner: Ribeye steak, twice baked potato, grilled mixed veggies, sauteed green beans, bread.  Yes, I ate all of these things.


Dessert: Chocolate covered strawberries, cobblers, carrot cake, chocolate cake. Yes, I ate chocolate covered strawberries AND carrot cake.  SAY SOMETHIN'!  


And the best thing is....


Open Bar.  Yes, I had a few TINY beverages but you know what happens when there is an open bar right?  You get great picture opportunities so SOMEONE had to stay sober to capture Oklahoma cowboys at their best!

Hula Hoop Competition.  The hubs refused to partake.  Wuss.

Some guys had skills

and some just tried to kill themselves by "hulaing" around the neck.
Of course a GIRL won.

Mr. Impulsive DID have to complete a "stacking" competition for $$$$.

This is the look of a LOSER.  I will not be passing go and collecting $200.

Anybody wanna guess what SHE's doing with his balls?

She is preparing him for a game of "Shake that Booty".  He had to get all his balls out of the basket by shakin' his thang...

Country dancin'.  It's not our thing.  We're very un-Oklahoma like.

This is the look of utter boredom.
I COMPLETELY understand, girl.

After dinner and games, almost EVERYONE left except for a few true, serious drinkers.

And we have our first casualty of the night.
COWBOY DOWN! COWBOY DOWN!

And our first dancing couple...

I like to call this one...
"DRUNK EYES"

It's a group dance.  Only in Oklahoma folks..
Remember that I'm from a town full of SWINGERS.
Gross.

Two guys, two girls and a Christmas Party?
Swingers?  Very possible.

By 9:45, EVERYONE had left the premises. Was M ready to call it a night?  No he wasn't.  We followed a group of "drinkers" to another bar.  

It was smokey.  I HATE SMOKEY.

I was unhappy.  I HATE TO BE UNHAPPY.

I was stuck talking to a girl that was 11 years younger and had the personality of my pinky finger.  Bless her heart.  

When a fight broke out right in front of my face, I decided it was time to move on.  I won't even mention the place that we stopped at next.  All I'll say is this:

I was tricked.

It was very dark.

There were naked girls that looked old enough to be my mom.

There were naked girls that looked 15.

There were naked girls who had more cellulite than myself.

There were some that looked like they were with child.

There were female members of our group that were placed in interesting positions while said naked girls were "working to make a dollar."

I felt dirty and I'm pretty sure that the floors and tables had never been cleaned of the sticky substances that were caked on them.

I DON'T WANNA TALK ABOUT IT.  

We left rather quickly.  For some reason, the bouncer made me put my camera in the car.  He was not happy that I wanted to take a few pictures for my blog post today.  I have NO IDEA why...

CHRISTMAS IS THIS WEEK, PEOPLE!!  Are you ready??

FUN FACT FRIDAY

**Unfortunately, I had to edit this post for a misspelled word.  How embarrassing.  Thanks Starnes. Your gift is in the mail.**


Well, it's nearing the end of the year and I think it's safe to say that we are all super busy!  My brain is fried lately (not from drugs but from things like losing money, drinking, baking, shopping, drinking, wrapping, eating, drinking, parties, working, drinking) and this is the best post idea I've had all week so I'm going with it.

• I LOVE spinach in my salad but the stems on the leaves freak me out. I always think they're gonna choke me.
• I'm deathly afraid of snakes. I've had 2 in my house.  I thought one was a worm and bent down to pick it up.  It opened its mouth and reared its head back at me.  I screamed.  Loudly.  My neighbor called 9-1-1. They thought something tragic had just happened...which it TOTALLY did.
• I love to play Sudoku and Words With Friends mainly because it makes me feel smart...except when playing Dawn someone I don't care to mention.
• I do NOT make my bed daily (gasp!) even though I prefer it made. It's a big bed with LOTS of pillows, y'all!
• I eat mayo on my hotdog. You can't snarl your nose up until you've had a bite.
• I once had a near death experience while WATER skiing. I forgot to let go of the rope when I fell. I'm pretty sure they were THISCLOSE to giving me CPR. I never tried water skiing again. 
• I once had a near death experience while SNOW skiing.  I forgot to hold on and fell down a hill at lightening speed. They said I just twisted my ankle. I'm pretty sure it was broken but miraculously healed on its own. I never tried snow skiing again.
• I like cottage cheese on my baked potato. Just try it.  It's HEALTHY for you too.
• I can beat ANYBODY at Ms. PacMan. 
• In junior high, I got into a heated argument with a girl over the phone and challenged her to a fight at my house.  She showed up (with 10 other girls). She kicked my azz. Lesson learned.  
• I used to own a dirt bike. 

I love randomness.  Tell me a random fact about you or feel free to link up and play along!  

Humpty Makes Me Happy

Well, it's been one of those days.  You know the kind of day that I'm talking about....where everything seems to go wrong?

• I lost a $1500 check.  It vanished somewhere between going into the post office and coming out. WTH?
• My 12 days of Christmas swap package came today (which is why I was at the post office).  Guess what?  Three boxes contained broken items.  And she "SERIOUSLY" packed it good.  Seriously.  Get it, Shawn? Ok..poor joke about my swap partner but it's all I got tonight, people.  Just wait until I post pics of the precious gifts that are now in the trash due to incompetent USPS workers.
• I accused Walgreens of overcharging me for pictures when all I had to do was scroll down to the bottom of the receipt to see my accusations were impulsive.  I had to apologize.  I HATE that.
• I forgot a very important number in a recipe that I shared with Dawn to take to her cooking club.  Hello?  Is anybody home upstairs today?
• I wanted a salad for dinner.  I ended up sitting in Taco Hell's drive thru where I proceeded to order a chicken burrito.  It was nasty.  Why do I torture myself?

The highlight of my day came, ironically, while waiting for Taco Hell to fix my disgustingly vile burrito.  This song.  This song makes me happy.  

Humpty Dance circa 1990

• I'm adding another bullet because I can't figure out how to turn this picture and I'm on the verge of tears.

I always have to end on a positive note or you people will judge me....don't you even try to lie about it either....so here it goes:

1. Emma learned to "patty cake" over the weekend and signed "more" and that makes me smile.
2. I LOVE LOVE LOVE my swapping partner.  Seriously.
3. I had a GREAT weekend full of parties and gatherings with friends...and drinking.  What's not to love about that kind of weekend?
4. M's company Christmas party is this weekend.  I have PLENTY to be excited about. Just wait for the pics people.  You'll see.

And just because I feel like it and this is, after all, MY blog, I'm going to post a few pics of Emma's 1st birthday party.  You can cover your eyes if you're not in the mood for party pics.

Candy Cane themed only...not a cake that tasted like candy canes.

Being center of attention at Nana's is her thing.  Why would the birthday party be any different?

Sugar high anyone?

Don't come any closer to my cake.

I'm pretty sure this is her choosing her daddy over me.

And for all the HATERS that gave me a hard time about not having a Christmas tree up, you can now BITE ME.  You know who you are.  I'm not gonna waste my time listing all 46 of you on here.

The 1st ever Impulsive Christmas tree