Monday, January 31, 2011


And the winner is.......

SAMI from Symmetry in Motion!!!

(Umm...right here was going to be the picture of Sami's number and name but it won't load from my saved files.  Thank you Mac. It was numbers 1-127 with the winning number of 34.  Trust me. I'm not lying--today anyway.)

Sami, you have won a $65 gift certificate from CSN!  Please contract me within 48 hours (and I know you will) so I can get some information to you! 

Congratulations, Sami!!

Thank you all who entered!  I appreciated it~

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Friday Confessional

Guess what day it is? My favorite day-FRIDAY!  


I confess that I ate (mexican) and drank (wine and red beer) VERY POORLY while I was away on a much needed GNO at the Winstar Casino last weekend (where a Cheeto and/or pillow fight(s) may or may not have taken place in our room). 

See? You can't even see the Cheetos! They blend into that FABULOUS carpet nicely.

I confess that I may have turned JennyKate into an emoticon junkie on her iphone. She now only texts me random emoticons for me to decode.  For example, this is what I got yesterday morning:

Translation for the newbies: 
Need coffee. NOW. Or I'm going to cut someone.

I confess that my BESTIE since junior high, Jenn, has been leaving me comments!  She's been a loyal lurker reader from the beginning and I'm pretty sure I put her on an accidental guilt trip when I blogged about lurkers and non-commentors.
                                ♥ HI JENNIFER! ♥

I confess that I'm even though I'm VERRRY excited about the Real Housewives of Oklahoma's "RHOK Out" tonight, I'm slightly nervous and jittery. I'll be meeting new blogger friends and what if they don't like me IRL? And what will I wear?  I've seriously been looking for an occasion to wear this number from a prom that I missed back in '94 due the infamous "grounding" punishment of '93-'95. Don't ask. (I'll blog about this later)  
Thoughts? Opinions?  
It may be a little too dressy for this occasion.

I confess that when I asked M if he "needed me help in the bedroom" tonight, and he responded by asking if I meant packing his bag for our weekend trip, I laughed so hard that I may have tee-teed in my pants a little.  That may have ruined the moment for anything happening in the bedroom tonight.  Whoopsie! 

And finally, I confess that my PINKtastic swap package is ready to go!  I had to wrap things quickly after purchasing so that I wouldn't be tempted to take borrow any of her goods before they ship off next week.
That's A LOT of PINK and yes it's blurred on purpose

Do you have a confession or three?  Link up to Mamarazzi's blog and confess all of your sins!

P.S.  My FIRST $65 giveaway ends on Sunday at midnight.  If you want to enter click HERE.  Winner will be announced on Monday!

P.S.S. If you want to partake in a fabulous CHEER UP ALREADY swap, check out Brandy's swap! Sign up right now!!

I am QUEEN. Hear me ROAR.

Who doesn't love Mamarazzi?  I double dog dare you to raise your hand.


I'm featured as Queen for the Day.  Go check it out (click on the button) and while you're there, leave me some comment love.  It will make my day even more special.  

If you're new to my blog, HIIIIIII and welcome!  Thanks for stopping by~ 

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

A "Shocking" Confession

Who doesn't like to hear a "shocking" confession?  It sounds interesting, right? Follow me over to the RHOK blog and hear ALL about mine! (Click on the link in pink)

Monday, January 24, 2011

MckLinky Monday

My cutie patootie friend IRL Mrs. Edwards is posting over at the RHOK blog today (AKA Jennykate) and she wants to know 10 things (not people) that I can't live without.  

Only 10?  Ok...well I narrowed my list of 58 things down to 10 and here they are for your enjoyment pleasure.  You're welcome.

1.  My bath time.  This is my favorite place to be (with the exception of a sandy beach and sunshine). I jump in this thing about 3 times a week and soak in the hottest of water with my basket of goodies made up of relaxing essential oils, bath salts, scrubs, and body wash and of course my iphone and a good book are always right next to me if I feel the need to pick one up. 

2. Which leads me to my next item(s) that I can't live without:  

My love for books and my iPhoneYes, I put two things together.  SUE ME. I dare you.

3.  My Arbonne.  I'm a creature of habit and when I find a product that works, I stick to it.  I've been using Arbonne for over 8 years.  I bet you didn't know I was 45.  See?  Arbonne works out the wrinkles and makes you look exactly 18 12 years younger than you really are. It's amazeballs.  You should try it on those bags you have under your eyes.  For realsies.

4. My bubba keg.  If it wasn't for this big piece of plastic and metal, I would NEVER get in my daily water intake.  I can put ice in this bad boy at 8:00am and i still have ice at 3:00.  It's the BOMB-DIGGITY.
Of course I have this in PINK

5.  Speaking of drinks, where would I be in life without my liquor?  I love my Patron, and we've been inseparable for years, but my love affair with the Captain is taking over for the moment. Ahhh...

6.  E! Entertainment.  I love everything Hollywood (Shout-out Jen Aniston! She totally reads my blog) and I recently decided to non-renew my Us Magazine subscription *tear, sniffle, sniffle* after many many years due to my excessive blogging addiction, so now I turn to E! for my Hollywood bizness updates (and Hotpants of course).

7.  The next item up for bid (I just went all Price is Right on your azz for no apparent reason) is my Macbook Pro.  I have a PC but I can't live without my laptop. One time, at band camp, it got sick and I couldn't use it and I swear I walked around in circles in the living room for days not knowing what to do with myself.  I was a total basket case.

8.  My camera.  I it so much!  I have a new camcorder but my camera also allows me to shoot video.  I use it almost daily. Isn't she pretty?  Her name is Lucy. 

9.  I love movies but rarely go because M has an addiction to all things sports (AKA SportsCenter) and I refuse to befriend the swingers and methheads in this town, so I choose to NETFLIX it.  If there is a movie that I CAN NOT wait to see, I will call up friends for an emergency movie outing. They are usually happy to oblige because I have cool friends.

10. And finally, I could NEVER live without brownies or Mexican food. Yes I'm using 2 items again but they are both in the "food category" and it's my blog and I get to do what I want so SHUSH IT.  My addiction to brownies is like a Methheads addiction to meth...except I'm only assuming what their addiction is like since I've never tried the stuff.  And my love of mexican food (especially my homemade guacamole) makes my heart do jumping jacks.  My mouth is drooling just thinking about biting into a taco with spicy salsa.

Do you have some items you can't live without?  Tell me!  I'm all ears or if you prefer, hop on over to the RHOK blog and link up!
                                   The RHOK

P.S.  Don't forget about my $65 CSN giveaway!  Click HERE for your chance to win.  It's my FIRST one y'all!  You HAVE to play!

*Hopefully someone besides Mimi will leave a comment first. She has an unhealthy obsession about being the first to comment on EVERY blog she reads.*

Friday, January 21, 2011

Friday Confessional

It's FRIDAY peeps and that means it's time for some confessions.  It's really good for the soul. 


I confess that I have a major attachment disorder to my phone and it's unhealthy. I can't go anywhere without it.  Checking the mail?  Got it with me.  Going to pee?  Got it with me.  Running in to get a gallon of milk?  Got it with me. I'm searching for the closest Iphones Anonymous after I post this. You know this group exists, right?

I confess that if you look closely at my web address, you will see that it says "confessions from an" instead of imPULSive. When I created this back in 2008, I had a lot less brain cells, I was more than likely drunk and I had just learned to spell.

I confess that I went over budget on my PINKtastic swap gift.  I!  We've already established that I am a non-rule follower so let's get over it and move on, shall we?

I confess that I STILL have a major crush on Steven Tyler. Yes, he looks a little older these days but oh the things I do to him in my head.  *sigh*

I confess that I hate (which is such a strong word) bloggers that don't email you back and/or comment back when you comment on their blog. PICK ONE OR DO BOTH..I DON'T CARE.  JUST RESPOND. PLEASE. KTHANKS. And lurkers should be required to sign in or something.  There. I said it. 

I confess that I had a GNO with JennyKate last weekend (and the Captain too-duh) and among her birthday gifts to me was a Pocket Mom.  That's right.  It's like a Pocket Edward except it's not like him at all.  Pocket Mom is totally rockin' a 1950's vibe and she TALKS!  She tells us things like "Remember that sex before marriage is wrong and even after you're married, you probably shouldn't enjoy it." and "Friends that try to talk you into doing bad things aren't really friends at all so you should turn them in for the reward money." She totally made out with a one-footed Pocket Edward. It got pretty steamy on the table.

That's all I got for this week.  What would you like to confess? Remember I will totally judge you.

P.S. Don't forget about my $65 gift card giveaway!  It's right down there. See it? Go comment.  NOW! Kthanks.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

A $65 Giveaway!

So...I have decided to do my VERY FIRST giveaway!  Aren't you excited? I had to make a I want to shop for a product that I *WANT* and do a review or would I like to pay it forward and do a giveaway instead?  My choice is obvious, right?  CSN stores have so kindly offered one of my readers a $65 gift card in the form of a promotional code.  They have 200 online stores where you can find everything from stylish furniture, modern bedding, or great cookware.  In fact, MiMi just ordered a very classy red Paula Deen pan! (because she DESPERATELY needed to replace that trash that she was using.)

Is this not gorgeous? 

Click HERE for link

What do you think about this Vase?

Click HERE for the link do you wanna play?

Great!  Thanks.


  • Leave me a comment.  Easy peasy, right?  You can tell me you hate my taste if you want (but you probably won't win). I'm just keepin' it honest peeps.
  • Become a follower on my blog or tell me you already are.

Extra Entries: (pretty much the ones I NEVER do)
  • Become a fan of my facebook page (link is at top right)  (+1 entry)
  • Follow me on Twitter (link is at top right)  (+1 entry)
  • Tweet about the giveaway and leave me the link (+2 entries)
  • Blog about my giveaway and leave me a comment with the link (+4 entries)
All entries can be on one comment or more than one. I'll be doing a spreadsheet to determine the winner.

***Giveaway ends Sunday, January 30th at 11:59pm.  I will announce the winner's name on January 31st. The winner will be chosen by  The winner will have 48 hours to contact me and if contact is not made, a new winner will be chosen.


Monday, January 17, 2011


That sassy Mrs. Albright over at the RHOK wants to know 5 things that I can't do anymore.  Being the non-rule follower that I am, I tweeked it a tiny bit (strickly for entertainment value only and no disrespect to Mrs. Albright whatsoever) and made it:                                    

Five Things That I Will NEVER Do. 

We had a couple of good times in college but we had 488 bad times so for that reason, I will never toast to you again, Mr. Royal. *tear*

This is NOT me.  This style was gone before I made it to high school!

Do you know how much money my mom spent on hairspray for me in the early 90's?  I'm pretty sure I went through a can of Aqua Net every other day.  And for that reason, I will never spend 55 minutes spraying my hair and drying it with a blowdryer and then crying when it rains outside because my hair will melt.

I will never be able to eat all of this deliciousness and not gain a pound like I could when I was 18.  I miss my skinny self.  I had great legs.  Now when I eat food like this, it just goes straight to my thighs which rub together when I walk and start small fires on occasion. 

I will NEVER marry a man that is 90 years older than me just so I can get my hand on his old penis money.  I prefer new money.  And money that isn't so wrinkled*shivers* The idea of going to bed at night next to my great-great grandpa and having to kiss him in a sexual manner makes me throw up a little in the back of my throat and swallow it back down again because I don't have a trash can near me.

I will never again have an a$$ this pretty.  Ever. You wanna know why?  Because all the exercise in the world couldn't take away the cottage cheese craters I've got growing back there.  Is that TMI?  I'm sorry.  But I could stare at this one all day long.  What?  Is this one too big and plump for you? Well I like a little junk in the trunk!  DON'T YOU JUDGE ME!


Link up and play!  Isn't never too late.

*Thank you Mr. Google for my images. Amen.*

P.S.  I'm joining Mamarazzi in her quest to conquer the NO REPLY BLOGGER revolution. Won't you join us?


Friday, January 14, 2011

Friday Confessional

I'm not posting on here today, but I AM posting some BIG CONFESSIONS over HERE today.  Come read them but if you judge me, I will haunt you in your sleep. 

Sweet dreams!

Wednesday, January 12, 2011


Please give a BIG round of applause for the ever entertaining and funny girl, Mrs. Mimi! Do your thang, Girl~

First, I'm so excited to be here with the uncomparable Impulsive Addict. She had me at "hello." Or maybe it was her casual mentioning of the fact that she lives in a town with swingers....I dunno. Whatever it was, it was love at first sight. Or read. Whatever. Thank you for letting me ruin your blog post for you, IA!

Here's a heartwarming tale of small town living from France:

My husband and I moved back to the small town we grew up in back in 2004 and for the most part we don't really run into the jackasses people we knew when we were growing up.

And, I for one, thank God every day for this fact. It is no small feat when you think about it. Less than 15,000 jackasses people in town and we are all over the place every day and we occasionally but hardly ever run into anyone we knew "way back when."

Lest you get the wrong idea here; I love don't hate my town. I don't hate love it either. <--- did that confuse you just now? it confused me when i wrote it but i think i got it right. I just think the jackasses people who live here could be friendlier.

Small town does not automatically translate to niceness. Trust me. I live in a small town and I will never be accused of being the nicest person you'll ever meet. In fact, rude bitch slightly less nice than your cookie baking grandma would maybe be more appropriate.

Here are some reasons that I don't love my small town:

The town slogan is: "The town that friendliness built." <--- uh? don't you mean jackasses people? cuz i don't think friendliness can build a town.

Every year people line up in the thousands hundreds tens to get a piece of the Largest Strawberry Shortcake on earth. That baby has been hauled on a flatbed truck and is covered in a tarp and I don't know about you but I, for one, am chomping at the bit to get a piece o' that there cake. <--- rolls eyes. also. i think it really is the thousands. how's that for awesome?

I got called for Jury Duty. City Jury Duty. Guys. I guarantee they'll want me to serve on a case about a pitbull and meth. I just know it. And chances are I will have gone to school with the jackass who's in court. I bet he gets dressed up in his nicest hickory shirt for his big day in court too. You know, the one with only 1 hole? Yeah. That one. <--- if i went to school with him i bet i can say i know him and then i can go home, right? bonus.

I went for an appointment at the dr. the other day? And the "nurse" (i don't actually know what she was)somehow figured out just by looking at me that I am the person who lives in the house that she was going to buy but for some reason didn't and got a different house up the road or around the corner or some such crap. <--- huh? why the need to tell me this? how do you know this? and why are we talking about it? weird.

One time I saw in the "crime" section of the paper a whole incident involving two separate police calls and 3 separate locations. 2 men...I'm assuming grown men...were fighting over...get this(!!)...a piece of cheese at Walmart. <--- omg.

Okay, enough complaining about my town. I really do love it here. <--- sarcasm. But honestly, we do most things in a different town; all of our dr's and other places we go are not usually here. Except, of course, for Walmart. There's no better entertainment than to go to Walmart on a Saturday and jackass people watch.

In fact, this is all IA's fault. I would never even think about my lovely town like this except for she said her town is swinger/meth infested.

Well, I can't let her top me. Hello?! Fighting over cheese?! I win. Totally.

pee ess: the reason we moved back to this town? well, many reasons. less money for bigger houses. the fog of years away from our hometown settled over it and cruelly veiled softened the rough edges. and i plead the fifth, because i never actually lived in town when i was a kid. i lived miles out and only drove through on my way to school. i didn't know the wonderful world of craptastic small town living. so there. <--- nanny nanny boo boo, i am a small child who won't take the blame for anything. heh.

Thank you MiMi for posting for me today!  (I'm probably hung over.) I absolutely ADORE you and pretty much rank you in the top 5 of the funniest people I know and I know TONS of people because I'm an attention whore but, then again, you already knew that.

Go visit MiMi over on her blog by clicking HERE.  She LOVES new stalkers!  



I did my first swap at Christmas and I couldn't have been placed with a better partner.  I ♥ Shawn

Now it's in my blood and I can't stop SWAPPING! (which is TOTALLY not meant to sound dirty) I can't WAIT to start shopping for this swap!

And a big SHOUT OUT to Mamarazzi herself for copying the link in my post. My Mac gets VERY testy with HTML. 

Monday, January 10, 2011

Weekend Wrap Up

Remember how bitter I was about my anti-climatic birthday last week?  Well, on Thursday I made it official that I would be taking a trip to see a friend this past weekend BY MYSELF.  That's right.  No Emma.  No M.  Just me and the Captain.

So on Friday, I headed out of my swinger/meth infested town for a short road trip.  I was excited to be getting away for the weekend.  

And then this happened....

...for 38 minutes of my trip.  Do they not know that I have a severe case of ROAD RAGE?  Why would they drive side by side for 38 minutes?  

Please tell me.  I need to know.  

I was finally able to pass them in straight up road rage fashion which also included laying on my horn for a solid 30 seconds while passing and praying that he didn't have a gun in his truck.  I'm pretty sure that the 22 cars that were behind me would have totally given me a standing ovation for that if they were driving convertibles.

The weekend with the Captain was amazing!  He never lets me down...unlike a particular husband that I know.... and he never bloats me up like a puffer fish unlike Mr. Michelob either.   Of course he was my drink of choice the whole entire weekend.  We had F-U-N.  Good food, good drinks, good gossip, and good retail therapy. TAKE THAT M!

Everything was perfect.  

Until Sunday.  

My mom sent me a text at 10:00am.  I wasn't even out of bed yet (yes, that's right people...I know how to sleep) and she was asking if I had left yet because the weather was getting bad. 

Bad?  Like how?  What was going on in the weather department?  

It's moments like this that I kick myself for not watching the news..especially the weather.  It was snowing, sleeting, and icy outside.  This was not going to be a good day.  

I was right.

People here in the Midwest don't know how to drive in these types of situations.  Of course nobody drops salt or sand on the roads until it's too late and people try driving 60 mph on the ice because they're IDIOTS and are probably are still drunk from the night before and then you see THIS SHIZ on the sides of the roads:

WRECKS.  Everywhere.  I saw about 25 cars/trucks/semi's in the ditch.  These were only the wrecks that stopped traffic so I could capture their stupidity.  (I'm only making fun of them and calling them stupid because I didn't end up in the ditch.  It's called having some serious MAD DRIVING SKILLZ.)  

Once, when I was seat dancing to G6, I slid a little.  It scared me so that was the end of the seat dancing. 

WHAT?  Quit acting like you don't seat dance!

I eventually made it home to my family who missed me.  And who wouldn't? Seriously.  I bring the fun everywhere I go. 

Think about that when you have your next function, m'kay? Impulsive Addict = FUN.  I'll bring the Captain too.

P.S.  Do you have an appetizer that is award winning?  If so, please go link up with the RHOK by clicking HERE. They are having a competition and who doesn't like to win?  If your dish wins, you will get a sweet little gift and of course blog recognition. Go link up!