Friday, April 29, 2011

Friday Confessional 4*29*11

Mamarazzi wants me to confess so here I go....


I confess that when an older gentleman introduced himself to me as Mr. Wood this week,  I accidentally laughed.  Like out loud. In front of him.  Whoopsie.

I confess that I broke out my Cam Wow app (again) on Easter and took some pics of the family. I won't bore you with them but I couldn't resist posting this one:

I confess that until yesterday, we didn't think that Sailor Jerry really existed. (I will not forsake you ever again Captain). 
Thanks for the tweet, Janna!!!
I confess that I posted this picture from 1991 on my friends Facebook page this week.  This was NOT planned!  We had to get our picture taken.  See why?
Shawn wants to know....WHO WORE IT BEST?  LEFT OR RIGHT?
I confess that I've started wogging and I have 3 friends that are wogging "with" me {in spirit because I live in the ghetto} thanks to Couch-to-5k.  We're motivating each other and I love it!  But guess what?  According to the gym, I have gained inches around my AZZ and MUFFIN TOP since June.  SAY WHAT?  How can that be? It made me so mad that I came deathly close to consuming a box of brownies and calling in a pizza.  I ate Wendy's instead (with fries and a POP!)

And finally....

I confess that M and I watched The Hangover again last night. We laughed until our bellies hurt.  I love when we laugh like that.

It's FRIDAY!!!!  Who's ready to have a virtual drink with me? It's been a long, rainy week! *Cheers, Lovies*

P.S.  Blogger has been sucking me in more and more lately (I JUST LOVE READING ALL OF YOU) and it's interfering with my play time with Emma (and all of my other slave orders) so I'm going to try to limit blog stalking to naptime and after bedtime. Ok pumpkins?  

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

We Want To Know Wednesday!


Thanks for coming back for the second week of WWTK. Last week was a huge success, a great big thank you to everyone who played along!

The four of us have collaborated and would like it if everyone could please follow three simple rules. I know, I'm not a rule follower either but you all understand, right?
1. Please include our supah cute button on your post.
2. Please link your WWTK post (not your entire page) to the linky at the bottom 
{if you need assistance please ask}.

3. Please mention and link all four of us. Adding a link is not hard and it shows you care about us. 

Ok enough housekeeping.  Let's move on, shall we?

Last week Mamarazzi asked questions pertaining to friendship and this week Shawn is asking random questions which is great because we can all be a little random, right? Here are this weeks questions:

1.} What is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? Are you an eyes or a smile person? Maybe another body part?
2.} If a movie was being made about you, who would you like to see cast to play you? And would your movie be a comedy, drama, romantic-comedy, action film or a horror movie?
3.} Does your high school yearbook include a senior comment section? If so, share what you said about your future goals. Have you met those goals? If you do not have a yearbook, just share what your goals were when you were 18 and if you have met them. If you’re brave enough, include your Senior picture!
4.} What latest trend simply baffles you? 
5.} When you walk into a room how do you present yourself? Do you walk in with confidence and command the attention of others or do you slink in and do your best to go unnoticed? 

 1. What is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
I notice eyes and teeth first.  I'm a big fan of pretty teeth and baby blues. But if they are a bad kisser, they are OUT.  Girls, you hear me on this one, right?  
2. If a movie was being made about you, who would you like to see cast to play you? And would your movie be a comedy, drama, romantic-comedy, action film or a horror movie?
In a perfect world, my Hollywood bestie, Jen Aniston, would play the part of yours truly because in my head, we look almost identical (ok...we hardly look similar but I said IN MY HEAD and it's my question so stop judging me). It would definitely be a comedy but it would have a romantic make out session with any of these (or more than one of these) hot pieces of azz.
3. Does your high school yearbook include a senior comment section? If so, share what you said about your future goals. Have you met those goals?
Oh yes, there is a comment section in my year book. It says that I wanted to attend a four year college (as opposed to a 2 year?) and major in Business.  Well, I changed my major 16 times before getting my Bachelor of Science degree for Early Childhood Elementary.  My yearbook comment section gives a shout out to my current boyfriend at the time and it also gives a shout-out to my BFF Jennifer.  Guess what? That ex-boyfriend and that BFF are married now!  Funny, right?  Ok...ready for a laugh?  Here's my senior picture:
I was wearing gold earrings. Are you laughing?  At least I wasn't still living in that "big bang" phase. Whew.
4. What latest trend simply baffles you?
WARNING: I'm about to offend people but I won't apologize. We'll just agree to disagree.  

I can't get over skinny jeans.  I HATE them.  Maybe it's because my fat thighs won't fit in them but in my honest opinion, they don't look good on anybody.  The latest trend that makes me want to cut somebody are the COLORED skinny jeans.  OMG.  Take them off. Throw them out. Stop the madness.
Next up, are those stupid crocks.  I keep waiting for them to go away but they still exist.  WHY?  They are so ugly.  I understand comfortable.  I really do.  But these need to die out quickly.

I love what Tom shoes stand for--buy a pair and they will give a pair to a child in need--but they are just down right ugly as ugly can be and the designer needs to be fired. Tom shoes do absolutely nothing for me.  Can they not make a cute pair? These look like shoes my grandpa would wear.

5. When you walk into a room how do you present yourself?
When I walk into a room, I usually make a huge scene because I tend to trip all over myself, fall or bump into someone or something while I'm scoping out the room for my homies. You'd be shocked at how many times this has happened to me in my life.  It's ridiculous.  I will take 1st place for the clumsiest person in Oklahoma hands down. Someday, I will post video proof.

Thanks Shawn! Those were fun!  Make sure to check out my lovely co-hosts pages:  Janette, Mamarazzi, and Shawn for more fun answers (and funny senior pictures!)

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Whatever you do, do NOT do this!

I hope everyone had an AMAZEBALLS Easter weekend!  I know I did.  Even though it managed to rain the entire weekend, I am still in a happy mood and wanted to publish something worth reading on this glorious Monday morning. {HA! I'm probably still in bed since I set this to publish in advance. Don't wake me up. I'm always grumpy in the am. Kthanks}

I wanted to write a post about what NOT to do before, during, and after a movie. Just a few tips from me but not necessarily from personal experience.  The movie that is in question may have been Water For Elephants. we go.

  1. While eating dinner before the movie, and your craptastic unenthusiastic waitress says they don't have Captain Morgan {gasp!} but they do have "Sailor Jerry" as a replacement which NOBODY has ever heard of before, do NOT stay. GET UP AND LEAVE.  Sailor Jerry is an imposture and any restaurant with a full bar that doesn't carry the best needs to have their liquor license revoked.
  2. Do NOT overdo your liquor intake. Make sure before you order 2 Sailor Jerry's, that your tolerance level can handle having 2 drinks before the movie that are made up of exactly 83% imposture liquor, 15% diet pop, and 2% water from the melted ice.
  3. When it has been raining all day but breaks for a second to let you walk into the restaurant, do NOT forget to bring your umbrella with you anyway so you don't look a fool with a take out bag on your head while exiting the restaurant in a sudden torrential downpour.  People will stop, point, and laugh. 
  4. Do NOT wear big girl panties. Instead opt for some super sexy Depends or something equivalent. They will come in handy while running out into the torrential downpour especially if one friend is drunk and the other one is clumsy and hits the panic button on her key chain.  Hysterical laughing will ensue and peeing of the pants will commence in the parking lot of the restaurant for all to witness. 
  5. Remember to buy candy at a gas station and NOT in the theater.  This way, when you drop a piece {or pieces} of precious chocolate while sharing with your friends, you won't feel like you just lost $1.25 every time a small piece hits the floor.
  6. Do NOT Heytell Shawn friends in the movie theater.  It will annoy the flippy girl in front of you and she will declare to her gay boyfriend that "she can't hear" the previews.  WHATEV.  I will cut a bitch.
  7. Do NOT start laughing when small inappropriate noises {think orgasmic sounds} come out of a friends mouth while a love scene is on the big screen {she thinks he is her boyfriend} and the entire theater is quiet. 
  8. Do NOT forget your tissue for any crying episodes that may happen while you're hysterically laughing uncontrollably about above incident and possibly embarrassing the "quiet friend" of the group.
  9. Do NOT speed past a Po-Po on the turnpike while driving home.  This could lead to a speeding ticket or at least a flash of his lights that will make you think you're busted.
  10. Do NOT forget to publish incriminating evidence of the pre-movie entertainment. Thanks JennyKate and Mona for another great evening!


Austin....can you handle us? We shall see in a few short days.

Was this WANT NOT TO DO post helpful for you? I hope so.

Friday, April 22, 2011

Friday Confessional


Ok friends, it's already Friday again and I have a few confessions to share before this holiday weekend gets kickin'.  Go see Mamarazzi to link up if you'd like to cleanse your soul too.

I confess that I started laughing hysterically at M this week when I asked him to sing me to sleep and he started singing "Feel Like Makin' Love". 

I confess that last weekend at a party, we played the I Never game. It has been confirmed that I was a bad influence to hang around with in the past. I had to switch my drink of choice to water.  It was getting too dangerous.

I confess that Tori Spelling and Miss Paltrow both said "amazeballs" this week.  It wasn't my word.  I stole it (maybe from MiMi?) but I love it and I'm glad it's circulating through my pals in Hollywood. 

I confess that I had a facial this week.  It took her 2 hours.  How much damage did I have that she needed to spend 2 hours working on my face?  When she asked how old I was, I told her 38 so she would think I had amazing skin. Her next question was "Are you interested in plastic surgery?" I almost slapped her Botox lips right off her face.

I confess that I'm taking Emma to the zoo on Saturday.  It's on my list of 52 things to do this year so I need to get it done but I also need for you to say a prayer for me.  I have major people rage issues.  It could get ugly in a hurry.
And finally...
I confess that while "wogging" at the track last nigh with JennyKate, we had a 5 minute conversation about which way our boobies pointed these days or where they go when you are lying down {read: under armpits perhaps?} and about how one of these bad boys would come in handy since I almost urinated myself from laughing so hard:
Meet P-Style, ladies.  I'm a fan of the pink but they have lots of colors to choose from. Please see the demo below.

No, this isn't me but I would look very similar.
Thank you google for these lovely images.

I can now rest easier at night knowing that I can pee standing up like a boy.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

We Want to Know Wednesday


Welcome to our very first edition of WWTK!  This weeks questions have a theme: FRIENDSHIP.  We all have friends that we can brag about, right? 

Here are the questions:
{1} Do you make friends easily?
{2} What 3 qualities are a MUST in a friend?
{3} What makes YOU a good friend?
{4} Have you ever met a bloggy friend in real life? Yes? Tell us about the meet up. No? Who would you love to meet?
{5} Who is your best friend?  Tell us about them. we go with my answers.....

1) Do you make friends easily?
In a work setting? YES!  But I tend to stick to a small group of co-workers that believe in such things as actually teaching kids and happy hour {because then we can talk shiz about the other co-workers that yell at their kids and sit at their desk all day and never join our HH's}

2) What 3 qualities are a must in a friend?
1.  Honesty.  Don't lie to me.  I will cut you.
2. Drinkability whoops... Like-ability. Do we share the same interests? Is it a 2-sided relationship or do you only call when you want something? Do we always have gossip stories to share? My friends aren't all teachers but we still share lots of like-ability traits.
3. Humor. If you can make me laugh, you are IN. These abs don't get into shape by themselves. Laughing (with me and AT me) shouldn't be too hard to do.

3) What makes YOU a good friend?
I think my friends would say that I'm funny when I need to be, silly when I'm not even trying, but always loyal, honest, and supportive.  

4) Have you ever met a bloggy friend in real life?
Yes!  The first bloggy friend that I ever met IRL was Dawn. I met her and one of my high school friends, Renee, at a Japanese restaurant last March. Here we are enjoying our dinner with Emma in tow since I was still nursing. We had the BEST time laughing and getting to know each other!

I've also met lots of local bloggers:  Brandy, Jonni, ShaRhonda, Jen, Aubrey, Jennifer, and Mom Mayhem. They are also super duper STELLAR!

5) Who is your best friend? Tell us about them.
The BFF that has been in my life the longest (18+ years) is Jennifer.  She is the strongest person I know.  To keep it short and sweet, she's had a handful of shit put on her plate lately (like her 9 month old being diagnosed with eye CANCER last year) and through all the shit, she has stayed strong and faithful to the BIG GUY upstairs when so many other people would doubt and lose their faith. She is always there to listen and she sends sweet cards for no reason at all. Just because.  Aww.  She helped plan my baby shower...which means I'm PREGNANT (very pregnant with big boobies) in this pic below. DON'T YOU JUDGE ME.
Jennifer, we need an updated pic of us!!

Rhonda is my bestie from college.  We share a hatred for all things related to infertility since we both have issues in this area.  When going through something like numerous failed fertility treatments and feeling beat down and useless, you want a friend that can relate to that situation.  She was wonderful!  She also is married to M's BFF because I hooked them up which means she owes me EVERYTHING. She's good at helping me drink up when we get together.
Eating Mexican food with alcohol in hand is our idea of perfection!

When I moved to Texas to teach and I knew absolutely NOBODY, I found Jenny just right down the hall.  It wasn't a like-at-first-sight kind of situation (long story) but we grew to love each other. We also share a love for brownie batter, beer, NKOTB, and Yahtzee.  She had 3 kids before I could squeeze out one but I got to be in the delivery room for her first 2 children.  We'll forever have that bond since I saw her girly bits....and heads (and other stuff) coming out of her girly bits. It was all kinds of awesome.
We also traveled to Mexico when she was pregnant.  WHAT A GREAT TRIP!
I have to add these girls into the *GREAT FRIENDS* category.  We meet up once a month for great food, good gossip, and we share a love of all things Captain.  They are amazeballs.  I love them.  Shout-out to JennyKate and Mona!

And of course I have a love for my favorite blogging buddies! I've made some WONDERFUL friends here and only blogging people understand that connection. It's weird that you can get so invested in a person without meeting them in person.  I'm so excited to meet you IRL and thanks for the texts, phone calls, HeyTells, WWF and email conversations.  *MUAH*

*NOTE:  Yes, M would be considered my best friend too.  He makes me laugh like no other can and we share a bed (with benefits) PLUS he helped produce my miracle baby so he totally gets a shout-out!  I love this man!
Both of my LOVES (in the NICU)
I broke my rule of no long posts. DANG IT!  Did you skim this one?  I bet you did. I couldn't help it today people. I promise my next post won't be this long.  I'm exhausted from writing it.  I may not even proof this mamma jamma. Don't hyperventilate, Vivienne.  I was only joking. =)

But this is where I tell you that it's YOUR TURN to link up!  Answer the questions on your blog, grab my little button from the top up there to include in your post, and come back here to link up.  Remember, my self-esteem is on the line so don't let me down. Kthanks.

Don't forget to visit my partners in crime: Janette, Mamarazzi and Shawn! I'm a lucky girl to have them on my team.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Let's take a look, shall we?

I'm joining up with those sassy girls from the RHOK to post a couple of pictures from my neck of the woods.

Are you ready for this?

This would be my parent's house.
This would be my dad's "rigging" of a scaffolding that he used to paint the house. 
My dad is KING of rigging.  I will bet big money on that fact.  How unsafe does this look?  It must be bad when he says his knees shake and get wobbly while up there, huh?

Next up is a fine piece of work that I discovered in a Science Museum.

Notice anything funny about this picture? Don't pretend you don't see it. I'm not the only blogger with a semi-dirty mind.  

Do you have any funny pictures from your neck of the woods? I would LOVE to see them!

Monday, April 18, 2011

Coming soon to a Wednesday near you..

Guess what?  I am happy to announce that I officially represent 1/4 of a hosting position in a weekly link up! WEDNESDAY'S will be the day that I want to know five questions about you! We call it We Want To Know Wednesday

Here's how it will work. We will post our 5 questions on Wednesday, you answer them in your blog {or vlog if you have girlballs} and link back up with us!  It's simple and only 5 questions so basically, it would take you longer to brush your teeth for the day {unless you don't brush your teeth daily which is disgusting} so there should be no excuses, right?  RIGHT.

Listen, my self esteem is on the line here friends.  I need my followers to link up with me.  Can I count on your support???  CAN I???  It's a simple yes or no question! {If not, can you be bribed? I'm not above offering monetary rewards.}


Janette, Mamarazzi, and Shawn will be my partners on this new journey and I'm completely STOKED! <---is that word still cool with the kids? 

So, come back by here on Wednesday around midnight (PST) and get a head start on answering the questions!  Please don't let me down.  I have blackmail material on SEVERAL of you people.  You know who you are....

Friday, April 15, 2011

I've been bad. Again.

It's time to link up with one of my favorite people, MAMARAZZI!  Everyone who is COOL is confessing...

I CONFESS that for the first time, I voted on AI this week. FYI: I voted for LAUREN! Does Steven ever say anything bad about their performances?

I CONFESS that I found out who got kicked off AI via Crackbook. Why must you put it in your status updates? It's rude! I wanted to cut that person with a dull potato chip.

I CONFESS that I sent inappropriate picture texts {ahemBIGBOOBSahem} to my friends while playing with my CAM WOW app this weekend. I have officially entered a therapy group. I have gone 5 days without using my app. *cheers*

I CONFESS that I had the "broccoli burps" {the QUIET KIND} at our social gathering on Saturday night and my friend kept asking "WHO KEEPS FARTING?"  I never raised my hand because I wasn't pooting.  If she would have said burping, I would have totally claimed them.

I CONFESS that I may have faked my personality a little bit on my vlog this week.  I'm completely sarcastic and sassy and rude with a twist of bitchy all of which DID NOT make an appearance in my video.

I CONFESS that I deleted a lot of people from my facebook account.  You know, the people that update every 5 minutes and the people that just wanna stalk you but never comment.....LIKE EVER? Yeah, I deleted them.  I also deleted some blogs that think they are on celebrity blog status and are too good (aka FAMOUS) to respond to my comments. If you have an email attached to your name and you leave me a comment, I WILL RESPONDI PROMISE!

I CONFESS I'm feeling hormonal.  You can tell, yes?

I CONFESS I need some wine. {EDIT: I chose a beer instead} 

I CONFESS that I almost died last night in tornado warnings.  Ok...not really but they got SUPER close.

I need ONE GOOD CONFESSION from you if you took the time to skim this.  That includes you too, LURKERS! I see you out there. I love you too.

PS. Please stop by JennyKate's page and remind her to BLOG.  She's been interested in other extra curricular activities lately and I don't like it one bit.

*Have a fabulous weekend*