Tuesday, August 30, 2011

10 Things to Smile About

So because I've been somewhat of a bloggy slacker lately no thanks to AT&T and I've been such a grouch due to my lack of appropriate internet surfing time, I'm hooking up with Emmy Mom to post 10 things that have made me smile in August. How is it already September in a couple of days?  Holy jeez I'm getting older faster and faster.

1. Capturing Emma look so sweet by reapplying her own facial sunscreen makes me smile.  We can't have her getting freckles or sunspots now can we?
2. Teaching Emma the importance of asking for limes in her drink makes me smile. Fruit is essential in any diet.

3. Bare butt shots while smelling flowers make me smile.  

4. The lesson here is DO NOT stick items (crayons OR hands) in toys where they will get stuck.  When this happens, Mommy will almost always grab the camera before helping you get unstuck because it makes me smile (or laugh. Whatev). And no, I'm not planning on winning (or being in the TOP 2000) for Mother of the Year.

5. My silly husband makes me smile on most days. Good thing he's secure in his masculinity while sporting pink shades, huh?

6. Friends who are willing to have their picture taken while covered in extra facial and chest hair make me smile. Good thing she quit taking the steroids after she saw this picture.

7. Anything that starts with a C and ends with 'aptain' makes me smile. But if you are a regular, you already knew this about my addiction me. He's always so good to me.

8. A fruity Patron margarita at one of my favorite mexican restaurants puts an instant smile on my face. What's better than that?  Oh. Well...besides s-e-x and slightly undercooked brownies? I say not much else.

9. If you are not watching this entertaining hot mess of a show, you are missing OUT!  Besides the fact that Kasey's voice sounds like Kermit the Frog and Melissa is a psycho that cries ALLTHETIME, this show makes me HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY!

10. And finally, my other guilty pleasure of the summer is BB13.  I love me some Jeff and Jordan.  I was super sad to see Jeff leave last week but the twist on Sunday gives me hope for Jordan!

And those 10 things, my dear friends, make me SMILE.

What makes YOU smile?

PS.  ConnieEmmy Amber, and myself (along with a few other "maybe's") are taking on a challenge: 8 FULL HOURS of no iphone tomorrow. The ONLY thing it can be used for is to make/receive calls.  I plan on turning my phone off completely and shutting down my computer as well.  I'm scared, nervous and not sure if I can do it.  I'll be logging my day tomorrow and blogging about it (or maybe I'll get crazy and do a vlog) on Thursday.  Anybody else wanna join in?  Who's up for a little challenge?  C'mon!  We need some people who know they can't do it so if that's you, THEN TAKE THE CHALLENGE! =)


Friday, August 26, 2011

Friday Day Dreamin'

Straight up, wait up, hold up Mr. Lover....
Let's go back to 2009 shall we?  I was 20 weeks pregnant with Miss Cutie Pants and we took a trip to Cozumel with my momma and daddy.  I do not recommend doing this if you are an alcoholic...I mean a lush drinker like myself.  It was torturous watching M, and the 'rents guzzling up delicious and outrageous amounts of sweet liquor and beer.  I had no choice but to stick to the virgin assortment. Hmm.

I picked this picture to share because:
A. It's crazy funny to me since we are so not the sombrero type.
B. My "girls" were all kinds of ginormous and perky.
C. I'm really missing Mexico.  I haven't been since this picture.

My next post should be on my momma's ever changing hair cuts and colors.  She's not a redhead anymore.  But she's a hottie, right?  (Don't disagree.  She stalks me.)

What are you daydreaming about toady?  Link up with my IRL friend Becca from Are We There Yet Mom and show us your daydream!

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Um, hi. It's me...

HELLO? Is anybody there? It's me, IA. I've been MIA for a while. JK had to post for me a couple of weeks ago because AT&T hates me and cut my phone and DSL service.  

Guess what? They still don't have my DSL up and running. It's a freakin' nightmare, people! I found out (during my own investigation) that I have the EXACT SAME ADDRESS as my neighbor!!  HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN???  I didn't even realize my address had changed.  Stupid new 9-1-1 code bullshiz. It's a long boring story and frankly I'm sick of talking about it (sweet deal for you people actually reading this) but I'm hoping to get back to normalcy soon. We're closing in on the problems. Well, at least I hope "we" are.  

In the meantime, I've secretly tapped into my other neighbors wifi by cracking his password.  

Not really.  

He totally gave me his password since I begged. 

So this post will be short and sweet. I'm gonna leave you with some random pictures that are saved in my phone because I'm easing back into the bloggy world since I've been gone so long. It's kinda like going back to the gym after a short hiatus.  I don't wanna do too much and I've gotta remember how to do the exercise.  ;)

Here is my Texas bestie and I getting ready to tear up some Sundance Square in Fort Worth on a recent ALL GIRLS weekend trip. Major fun with the Captain (and Patron, several shots and a little tequila) ensued just in case you were curious.  

See all the red?  I HATE the red.  It messes with my OCD.  Fo reals.  This is what happens when the above mentioned bestie hides my phone for an hour or two so I can enjoy myself and not partake in the 2 sets of group text messages that I was apart of. Sometimes I wonder what I would do without my iphone for just one day. It will be an upcoming experiment. I'll keep a journal.  I'll blog about it. You'll pretend you're interested...

This is for all my pervs and sex addicts that read my lame azz blog and may enjoy a little extra spice in their sextings. {GAG} 

This is also what happens when you try to call AT&T from your cell phone (because your home phone was "accidentally" disconnected for 4 weeks) and you miss dialing the correct number by one digit and you end up hearing an orgasm coming through the phone. Apparently, when you hang up within the first 3 seconds, they try to reel you back in with a text.  SICK FREAKS.

And finally.... JK and her boobs. This girl cracks my shiz up daily. This a picture from our most recent GNO. (YIKES! I cut my hair, colored it and got bangs like JK but not in that order)  Did you know that 3 of us girls decided at the last minute to bring our significant others but JK's man couldn't attend due to babysitter issues?  Did you know that shortly after this picture was taken, JK broke up with us because she wasn't ready to leave and the rest of us had places to be?  Did you know that she sent angry texts while driving? You guys, SHE VLOGGED HER BREAKUP AND TEXTED IT TO US!  It was brutal. It lasted a full 2 days but we won her back.  I was able to breathe a sigh of relief and could once again sleep peacefully knowing that she didn't hate me anymore.

Did I say this was going to be short?  Ooops.

**If you wanna see the breakup video, go here: She's so cute!

I promise that I'll be by to say hi during naptime!  

Love and hugs X's and O's,


Friday, August 12, 2011

Friday Dreamin'

(All words in red are added by me, JK.  Skillz asked me to put up her post for Friday, so I figured that earned me the right to insert some commentary.  Shhhhh.  Don't tell her.)

Sooooo guess what? My computer is out again this week. (<--if you would stop watching so much p-0-r-n, maybe it wouldn't be out again.) THE HELL YOU SAY??!!?? (<--Yep, I say this all the time.) Thank you very much AT&T.(<--QUIT blaming AT&T...unless that's code for something I don't know about.) I am not a fan of yours anymore. It's a long boring story but by the end of this mess (that started in July), I will own somebody's balls and I will proudly display them on my mantle. (<--You already have so many up there, where will you put another set?) So thanks JennyKate (<--I accept Captain and booby gropes for payment.) for helping me post this since I can't. Besides, without the internet, I only have the Captain left to entertain me so you know what that means, right? It probably means I'm dehydrated.(<--and in need of a liver transplant.)

It's Friday again and time for another edition of Friday DayDreaming hosted by my IRL friend and all around fun girl, Becca. (<--She's the funnest girl, funner than the fun.)

My HH is from Upper Michigan. You know, the place that gets snow 10 months out of 12? Since we go up there a couple times a year, it only makes sense to play in the snow. (<--Gah, if there was some snow on the ground right now, I would skinny dip in it. Fat ass and everything.So I'm posting 2 pictures from December that show us playing in the white stuff.  I'm hoping this will help me cool down since it's been a triple digit kind of summer.
(AWWWWEEEE, cute little Impulsive Family.  I love them.)

Here we are teaching Emma to sled with her brand new sled she got for Christmas. Ok, so you can't see it because my fat azz is sitting on it but it's under there. By the way. Emma was sledding by herself by the end of the day and loving it. I'll have her cooking dinner by age 3. I should probably work in potty training too. Ugh.

And this bad boy is Mean Green. (<--So that's what you call him...or "him"?) He is crazy fast! (<--twss) And I'm not talking about the snowmobile. Ha! I kid. I kid.  I didn't know snowmobiles existed until I met M back in 2000. I'm from Oklahoma! We don't have those here. We have boats, and motorcycles, and convertibles and okra(<--THE HELL YOU SAY?!)--all things that you don't see up there. I love okra! I know that was random but why dont they have okra? They are missing out.

Do you have a fav vacation pic that you'd like to show off? Hop on over to Becca's and link up!

And in other news, I was featured on Janette's blog yesterday. She is not a friend IRL yet, but she will be. She's super sweet. She has a fun little meme that she does on Thursday's called Friend 2 Friend . Take a minute and go check it out~
I hope you all have a great weekend and I promise to visit when they re-connect me to my life line later today.

Love and Rockets,
Oh crap, that's not what Skillz says...nevermind.

Here ya go...


Thursday, August 11, 2011

Super Special Seniors

So both of my grandma's are widowed. *insert my super sad face with pouty lip here* I worry about them. When did they become so fragile? If they fall, can they get back up? What if they can't? Do they have a Medicare Supplement plan in place to help should they need medical attention? They are super special ladies in my life and I wanna make sure they are taken care of, ya know?

I also wonder if they get bored during the day. I found a cute site that I'm gonna pass on to my sweet grandmothers.  It's called Suddenly Senior.  How cute is that name? It's "a place for anyone who became a senior before their time".  Awww.  So sweet.  The site has weekly senior jokes, senior dating (one grandma has already tried internet dating y'all!), the best senior links, and "epic" senior trivia.  The best part is that my sweet Grandma's can access that website from any place in the United States. We'll see how this goes....wish us luck!

What are some other websites that you would recommend for those special seniors in my world?  My dad is getting pretty close to being a SENIOR too! ;)  Shhh...don't tell him.  He's in denial.


Monday, August 8, 2011

It's Monday?

Wow.  Time sure is flying by lately especially when you've been sailing with the Captain.  I'm not enjoying how quickly time is speeding by either.  Before you know it, I'll be turning 25. 

Why are you laughing?

I've just returned from another weekend at the 'rents pool.  As usual, we had a blast! I'm not much of a mommy blogger so here are a couple of my new fav pics of my baby girl.

She wasn't convinced I put enough sunscreen on her face.  Re-applying is very important! I could learn from her.

Ok, this pic may get me in trouble with the po-po. Will I get charged with child p-0-r-n by posting this on my blog? (I had to spell it out so those freaks don't search that dirty word and find my little sweetcheeks <---HA! Get it?)  

We took off her swimsuit and diaper so we could dry her off.  She wanted to smell the flowers first.  There is nothing cuter to me than a sweet little chubby bum pic that shows off tan lines!

Ok, so I'm also a guest blogger over at Stephanie's place while she's taking a much deserved vacation. (Life wasn't very nice to her recently.)  I'm over there dishing about kissing and telling.  If you've been a follower for a while, you've already read it but it's a good one. Go give her some love! This will cheer her up! Thanks friends!  

Happy Monday~


Friday, August 5, 2011

Friday DayDreamin' and Summer Lovin'

My darling and adorable IRL friend, Becca, has started a new blog called R We There Yet Mom which is all about family and traveling. She has started a blog hop called Friday DayDreamin'.  You get to post your favorite vacation pic, tell us a little something about it and link up!  We all have favorite vacation pics, right?  

Well here is ONE of mine.

We made our 2nd trip to Hawaii in March 2008. This time, we brought along my in-laws.  No laughing please.  We went to the island of Kauai and it was amazing and perfect!

  • We ate at the most amazing restaurants.  Yeah, I gained 10 pounds in 11 days. I'm a girl that likes to eat.  So what?
  • We hiked several amazing trails (so glad I was able to squeeze in some exercise.  Otherwise my 10 pound weight gain could have been 20!)
  • We toured around Waimea Canyon and explored Kilauea Light House. Gorg!
  • We made fun of the town called Po'ipu. (It sounds like poo poo.  See? Funny!)
  • We enjoyed visiting MANY beaches along the island and people watching never fails to give me a giggle.
  • We kayaked to a monstrous waterfall.
  • We stood under said waterfall and I almost died. It hurt.  Don't stand under tall waterfalls.
  • We ziplined!  My favorite adventure hands down!
And when we returned home, I made a digital scrapbook of the whole adventure.  I can not wait to go back!

I'm also linking up with Natalia at Ma Nouvelle Mode for a little summer photo contest! Go check out some great pics over there too!

Happy Friday!


Friday Confessional 8*5*11

Shut up!  It's already Friday again?  Why does the summer have to fly by so quickly??!?  Well, it's time for me to make a couple of confessions.  I will feel better.  I always do.


I confess that this picture made me laugh.
Emma got her hand stuck trying to retrieve her crayons.  I don't suppose I'll win the award for MOTY for taking the photo BEFORE helping her. DARN.  

I confess that it's been a rough couple of weeks.  I did some traveling sans M.  I missed him but when I got home, I burned my leg (remember?) and then I was on my death bed for a whole entire week after that. I finally went to the doctor and they made me take a round of antibiotics.  Just when I was feeling "frisky"again, guess what happened?  Yeast. Infection.  SERIOUSLY?  Ugh.  How can I get pregnant with all of these disruptions going on?

I confess that the yeast has left the building.  Can I get an amen? Some days being a girl sucks. Was this TMI?  So sorry.

I confess that JennyKate, Mona and I have played on crackbook, texted on our phones and chatted on twitter way too much this week. I'm almost exhausted.

I confess that I'm going to record a vlog this weekend with JennyKate.  We're hoping to do one sober this time.  *Fingers Crossed*

Go check out Mamarazzi's page for more confessions.


Love and hugs,


Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Triple Digits Are Overrated

Did you know that 15 states were in the triple digits yesterday?  Oklahoma has been in triple digits more than it ever has before.  Here is our forecast in my town for the next few days:

Pro's to triple digit heat:
1. You can lose weight sweating your assets off.
2. You can walk around nekkid and nobody will think you're crazy.
3. No need to mow your yard. Your grass is DEAD.
4. Any hateful remarks said to friends/family can be defended by simply saying "It was 129 degrees today. The heat makes me cranky" and you are forgiven.

Con's to triple digit heat:
1. You gain weight eating everything in your house because you don't wanna leave the AC to play outside or workout.
2. You can't walk around nekkid while running errands for fear of burning your girly bits that never get exposed to the sun but it's just too hot for clothes!
3. You can't go for a walk/jog/run.  You will melt. Or die.
4. You can't check your mail.  You will melt.  Or you will get boob sweat which is totally gross.
5. You can't eat warm foods because your body temperature will rise to 176 degrees causing death.
6. You can't go to the zoo because the animals that haven't died from the excess heat are hiding in the shade or AC.  Plus, you will die walking around in the heat.
7. You only want cold showers and cold showers give girls goosebumps on the legs making shaving pointless. Am I right girls?
8. Your electric bill will be $1,500.  You may lose your home because your electric bill is more than your mortgage which you can't afford now thanks to the electric bill.  
9. Your deodorant goes on strike and quits working. Shoo wee.
10. Sex will only happen when we are butt nekkid, fresh from a cold shower, on the tile floor under a fan that is blowing on high. Ridiculously uncomfortable. Trust me.

So, I'm ready for a nice 90 degree day. I think I will be more pleasant to be around.

How are you surviving the heat?