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Monday, February 6, 2012

The Green Machine Hates Me












Wanna hear a funny story?


Good. Because I'm sure y'all are shaking your head yes, right?


See this snowmobile?  
This is M's baby, THE GREEN MACHINE. He bought it brand spankin' new when we were still dating. He almost loves it more than me {but the snowmobile doesn't offer sex, therefore I win.} It is safely stored at his parents house in the U.P. of Michigan where they actually get enough snow to ride this bad boy.


The day that he got it, we decided to take it out for a spin. It went REALLY fast and I held on tight. My life flashed before me briefly {as we reached speeds of up to 100 mph} and I may have peed myself a little bit. It's been a while and I'm foggy on all the tiny, unimportant details.


We found ourselves at a private airport. It was covered in white, fluffy, untouched snow. This is a snowmobilers dream. So I jump off and let M have some fun. See? I was an EXCELLENT girlfriend.


When he comes back to pick me up, he suggested that I take it for a spin. The only motorized vehicle I had ever driven was a Sea Doo...in the water...when I was 16. It was hardly comparable to a snowmobile. He told me I couldn't hurt "his baby" so I took off acting like I knew what I was doing.


Guess what? 


I didn't.


I got as far away from M as possible and tried to turn the son-of-a sucker around and it flipped over on me.


I was ok. The snowmobile was still running and smoking a little. It was obviously NOT ok.


I cried and then cried some more. M took off running across the airport as fast as he could in 4 feet of snow to help me turn it back over.


By the time he reached me, my liquid snot had turned to frozen snot and it was NOT pretty.


The good news? I DID NOT BREAK M's BABY!
The bad news? I am still not allowed to ride the snowmobile by myself.


But he married me anyways. *SCORE*
What's your Tuesday post about today? My co-host Shawn and I would LOVE for you to link it up with us so we could read it! NO RULES! Just link 'er up. 

*Wanna swap with us? Read THIS post for more details. 


I'm also linking up with Stacy today! Go check out her random thoughts!
Stacy

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43 comments:

Shawn said...

I loved snowmobiling when I lived up north. There were times we were the only ones able to get out to buy milk and bread because we had one, we were the favorite neighbors then!

Did you know that's how Babe broke his back? Those jokers can be dangerous in the wrong hands and his hands are definitely wrong!

I love that cheesy wedding-day grin of yours!

Emily said...

That's love! I can just see him running through the snow to rescue you!

Xazmin said...

I love this story! And I am very glad you lived and still snagged the man!

I don't really blame him for not letting you ride though.

Once I crashed my grandpa's 3 wheeler into my grandma's brand new car. She was mad. My grandpa laughed.

starnes family said...

Awesome.

I wouldn't let you borrow my kids' bikes after this little nugget of info.

Date Girl said...

Yikes! I can't believe you walked away without a scratch. I would never want to go near a snowmobile again if it flipped me. I'm glad he still wanted to marry you. :-)

PS it might not offer him sex, but some of those machines vibrate a little, which can be very nice for us. ;-) Just saying!

Amanda said...

I would have wrecked too.

Myya said...

When I was 16 Sammer was trying to teach me how to drive & I can an inch from scrapping the side of his truck on a bridge. Oops. Us girls should know when & what to not touch LOL.

WHAT A FREAKING FANTASTIC PIC OF YOU!!!

becca said...

wow i haven't ridden a snowmobile since iwas like 5 just happy you and the green machine are fine.

Stacy Uncorked said...

I'm with Date Girl - I'm amazed you walked away without a scratch after getting flipped over! And that's true love that he still married you even though you tried to kill the Green Machine. ;)

Madonna Still Rocks, M.I.A. Steals the Headlines, and Another Stray Cat

Stacie said...

I've never ridden a snowmobile, I'm not very adventurous.....or coordinated. I can't even ride a bike.

Yogi♪♪♪ said...

Now I know he truly loves you because you never touch a cowboy's hat nor flip over a cheesehead's skidoo.

Chantel said...

Babe, as long as sex and bacon are in the equation--you will ALWAYS outrank anything else.

(I suspect my husband did this exact thing--only with the washer--to get banned from doing laundry...)

Heathers Happenings said...

I would have crapped my pants while the snowmobile was flipping.

That is everlasting love right there!

Becca @ R We There Yet Mom? said...

I have never ridden a snowmobile - I live in Texas..hello?? - but after this story - not thinking I ever will!!

I LOVE that wedding day photo of you!!!!

~Becca

Sarah Kate said...

Oh my gosh, I LOVE that picture of you!!!!!

You are one brave chica to take off on one of those things by yourself!

And I just noticed you have your own dot com now! Movin' on up! ;o)

Red Stethoscope said...

Lol...your stories always make me laugh. You look RADIANT in that wedding picture! Smart man, that M.

Nicole said...

Hahaha, love it! Sounds like something I would do.

VandyJ said...

I like touring on snowmobiles but not the going fast and stuff. Call me timid, but it's just not my thing.
I do however like going fourwheeling.

Emmy said...

When Eric and I were engaged I was drivIng his car- a stick shift and um the engine sort of fell out while I was driving- true story - he still married me. Luckily it wasn't a new car but a piece of junk car. Glad you didn't get too hurt

kourtney said...

All the years I lived in IN with mounds of snow, I have never been on a snowmobile. I believe if I did, I would have the same fate as you. J would probably knock it up a few notches and I'd fly off the back like a leaf. Glad you survived with only minimal dampness to your pants.
Love the wedding pic you happy fools! ;)

Dee Stephens said...

When I first saw that picture I thought. WTF? in OK!???HAHA! Love the wedding picture! So skinny!

Kimi said...

You know I'm picturing him running in ultra slow motion...like the scene in the comedy movie where they run and run and only make it a few inches. Poor M.

I feel that I win over things only for that reason a lot. Swear I told my Mike I was sorry I was so crazy all the time...but at least I put out. ;)

MiMi said...

No no no. See? This is why I REFUSE to ride weird machines that people insist I will not break. Cuz I will. For sure.
But it IS a funny story! :)

Dollie @ Dollie Creates said...

Oh I would've wrecked it too! Mainly because I would have no idea how to drive and because I'd be too scared I'd hurt something :)

Amy said...

Aw you look SO gorgeous in your wedding pic. And props to you for even trying to ride the thing by yourself! I would have been really scared, haha.

jennykate77 said...

That sounds similiar to the first time I tried driving a 4-wheeler. I ran it into a fence...knocked said fence down and came VERRAH close to putting a large whole in the side of a house.

Glad you were OK and glad M's baby was OK...and glad he married you anyway!

I LOVE the smile on your face in that pic!!! Every time I see it, it makes me smile. You can just tell how happy you were. You know when they say a picture is worth a thousand words...prime example!

Connie said...

I have very little luck with big machines like that.

It's better that he have that for a girlfriend anyway.

Steph said...

I mean, that's been years. Maybe you can talk him into letting you ride it by yourself again.

Mom in High Heels said...

Tee hee! If James Bond's guitar offered sex, he'd totally love it more than me. :)

Mrs. H said...

Great story!! love it!

Megan Harmeyer said...

Yep. That was pretty funny! Poor you...my may not have been injured (thankfully), but I'm sure your ego suffered a bit of bruising. LOL

angel shrout said...

See you are braver then me even getting on the thing.. I am soooooo not into high speeds

Lourie said...

Aww now that is true love, baby.

Colleen said...

Ha! Love this story, totally cute. Makes me miss snowmobiling in MI - though I'm quite a bit older now, so I'm sure there would be a lot more life-flashing-before-my-eyes moments.

Also, in a weird coincidence, I did almost the same thing to MacGyver when we started dating, except when he let me drive he said that every time he had ever let a woman drive, she had crashed. And guess what? I hit a patch of black ice and rolled that sucker. A lot. The difference in my story? That sucker was his new truck, and the truck was NOT ok. Nor was I - I suffered some brain damage (that has since healed, by the way, so shut it!).

Personally, I think it was his fault and that he jinxed me.

Plus, he still married me. Score!

Andrea said...

Yikes! True love despite a flipped snowmobile AND frozen snot?! YAY!! My son has a big wheel type of thing called a green machine so when I saw the title I had visions of an adult trying to work out the kinks of riding one of those bad boys!

My Inner Chick said...

S C O R E !!!! xx

Liberty said...

I've never been on a snowmobile. I have had a fourwheeler roll over me before though... that wasn't fun. And, taking the jet ski's out all summer long is a must in my house. :)

You look so beautiful on your wedding day!

Kelly said...

I can't believe you flipped it, lol! I guess I don't have room to talk because when Nathan was a baby we had one of those buggy things that you hook to the back of a bike. I wanted to take him for a ride. No big deal right?! WRONG!!! I was turning the corner and the buggy flipped on it's side!! I was half a block away from our house, standing on the side of the road, crying my eyes out & yelling like cray for Nick. Nathan was perfectly fine. He actually laughed at me. The little stinker, lol!! Total Mom Fail :/

Vivienne @ the V Spot said...

Owie. I'm laughing at the frozen snot. And that you put out more than the snow mobile. :)

AMY said...

Geez glad to hear you didn't get hurt!
So you know I live in Minnesota (land of cold and snow). And where everyone snowmobiles.
Except me.......I absolutely HATE snowmobiling! Hate Hate Hate!
Damn things go to fast, hard to hold on, and easy to fall off.
Not my kind of fun.

The Kooky Queen--Rachel said...

Oh man, that is so scary!!! And CUTE, you two are SO cute on your wedding day, I love that pic!

Lori E said...

Well the problem was obviously not you but that it was an Artic Cat and not a Polaris....I will pretend that was my husband commenting but he isn't even in the room.

Crazy Shenanigans-JMO said...

Those things and atv's can be so dangerous! I've only rode a snowmobile once and I don't know if I'd really want to again unless I HAD to.