Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Five Truths and a Lie-2nd Edition

It's been a while since I've played Five Truths and a Lie. My previous one was a big shocker! Several people actually thought I had sex at church camp. THE NERVE! {If you're nosey like me, you can read it by clicking HERE}. It's no surprise that I thrive on shock value so....let's begin!

Mom, there is no need to read this post. Move along to the next one. You know my past was less than glamorous.

google images

  1. I had a "sexual situation" on an airplane.
  2. I've never had a one night stand.
  3. I have flashed my boobs for beads during Mardi Gras.
  4. I kissed a girl and I liked it. 
  5. I took naked pictures of M when we were dating and we have NO IDEA where they are now.
  6. JennyKate and I invented a perverted blogger named Paul and we left dirty and nasty comments on our friends posts using his screen name. 
Which one is the LIE? I'll reveal the answer on Monday! 

Happy Thirsty Thursday! 
Someone please for the love of all things rum, please drink a Captain and Coke for me tonight! K'thanks.

I love you like a crackwhore loves crack,


Monday, February 27, 2012

A 10 Things TTUT Swap Post....because I can.

HELLO? Do I still have friends? Have you been missing my comments on your blog? I took some time off. I'll be better this week. I PROMISE!

Today is an extra special Tuesday! I'm doing 3 posts in one. I'm doing my co-hosting duties with Shawn for TTUT, I'm posting about my fabulous swap package from Becky, and I'm linking up with Emmy for her 10 Things To Smile About meme. I know, I know. I'm pretty talented. I've heard that more than once.


1. Taking Emma to the Fort Worth zoo for some Mother/Daughter bonding time made me smile. She LOVED the bird exhibit. The MIL said she's sending her a parakeet. AW HELL NO. Don't worry. I set her straight.

 2. Starting out a WWF game with M like this makes me REALLY smile. BRING IT ON, Mr. Smarty Pants.
3. This shirt makes me smile. It may be my first "Cali trip shopping spree" purchase. I hope I don't ruin it by spilling the Captain down the front because after 130 days of no Captain, I'm bound to get sloppy.

4. Getting on the scale yesterday to see that I LOST WEIGHT even though I totally cheated on my diet this weekend makes me smile B I G. {Read as: ate chips and guacamole, drank a skinny margarita that made me want to slap the waitress that told me " Our skinny margs are really good", Japanese hibachi minus the ice cream, and a little bit of chocolate. Don't you say shiz about it either. Aunt Flo reared her ugly head. I rest my case.}

5. My reason for cheating? GNO two nights in a row. Thanks Slush and Kiss for Friday night and Slush and the RHOK for Saturday night. You made me SMILE.
Why, YES I do LOVE my iphone camera. That flash is all kinds of AWESOME.

6. Mom and I crafted again. This time, it was to 
decorate a shoebox to collect money for Relay 
for Life. Send me your extra quarters! Emma
is competing!! {More on this later}
Turn your head sideways. See? Pretty right? The theme is Rockin' For Relay.

 7. This picture makes me smile. Who doesn't enjoy some cinnamon butter on bread?

8. Emma talking to the ducks melted my heart and made me smile.

9. Winning $900 this month at the Hard Rock casino makes me smile. Are 2 trips in one month acceptable or should I call gamblers anonymous now?

10. My swap package arrived on Saturday and it made me smile! Thank you so much, Becky! You did great! =) I think co-hosting my first blog swap went well. I can't wait to see what everyone received!! Here's my box of goodies: {click to make bigger}
1. A magnet for Emma to paint.
2. She made me an "A" for Addict! {Or an "A" for my last name!}
3. A clutch to use on my next GNO.
4. A pillow for Emma to color on. It's washable! How cute!
5. Three boxes of sugar free jello to help me stay on my diet. I wonder if I could make jello shots?? ;-)
6. Adorable flip flops to add to my collection in my closet. COME ON SUMMER!
7. A cute little necklace for Emma and I to put together.
8. A beautiful coral scarf.

Click HERE to see what I sent to Becky and her daughter, Kinzie. Here's a sneak peak:

Soooo....what are you TALKING about today? Link up and tell us! We have no rules so why not?! =)


Friday, February 24, 2012

Friday Confessions--Old School Style

It's baaaaaack! My girl, JennyKate, started a Friday Confessions meme way back in 2008 before we knew what a meme was. I finally decided to step on board in April 2009 with my own Friday Confessions. {Click HERE if you're bored and want to read it. It's kinda stupid but whatev.}

It's been a LOOOONG time since my last confession and I believe that confession is good for the soul so here we go.

I confess....

  • I've been a blog slacker this week. I just wasn't feeling it. The weather was GORGEOUS and I wanted to be outside with Emma. At night, I want to pin stuff on pinterest, stalk facebook, snoop through twitter and watch trash tv. Don't hate me.
  • Speaking of blogging, I've been a skimmer on blogs in the past. No, I'm not talking about yours, silly! If you don't capture my attention in the first 1-2 paragraphs then I'm probably going to skim. I may have blogging ADD. No hate mail please.
  • I listened to Vanilla Ice this week. It was an accident but once I started singing, I couldn't stop. It was terrible. Please forgive me. Can we still be friends?
  • It's been 56 days since I have tasted the Captain. *sigh*
  • I have GNO tonight with my homies and I may cheat. DON'T YOU JUDGE ME. It's a mexican restaurant. I'm weak, people!!
  • I ate a hamburger patty for dinner this week that I thought was from Monday. Turns out, M ate those while I was at the gym and I ate one with an unknown date of preparation. Soooo, any guesses what I did for a couple of hours on Wednesday night? Try not to be jealous.
  • And finally, I confess that M is not a plumber.
He broke the hot water handle last night {trying to do a minor adjustment} which made hot water shoot STRAIGHT UP and flood my bathroom and ceiling. A trip to Lowe's, several 4-letter words and 4 hours later, we now have our water turned back on and my relaxing tub dates can resume. 
There is a reason why I chose this saying for the spot above my tub. 

Have a great Friday and a nice, relaxing weekend my friends!

Love and thugs,

PS. Do you have a place that you LOVE? A favorite food that you LOVE? Upload a picture and go link up with my IRL friend, Becca, for her weekly meme, FRIDAY DAYDREAMIN'.
Spring Break is coming up. Need travel ideas? She's your girl. She is a wealth of knowledge. Go check her out at R We There Yet Mom.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Weigh-In Wednesday

If you've been following me for a few weeks, you know that I've been on a strict diet called the Dukan Diet{click for more information} Here are my latest statistics:

My weight as of January 1st: 177.9

My weight last Wednesday:   165.4
My weight today:                    163.8
Weekly loss:                              -1.6
Total weight loss:                    -14.1

**I didn't weigh last Wednesday because I was in Texas so today's post is a 2 week span of time.**

While in Texas, I caved and ate bread. I'm so ashamed.

Saltgrass Steakhouse--bread with butter on TWO DIFFERENT DAYS because it's my fav restaurant.  
Olive Garden--1 breadstick. 
Texas Roadhouse-2 rolls with cinnamon butter. Have you tried that shiz? Oh Em Gee.
Jalepeno Tree--I had chips AND some fabulous kind of dip that was out of this world amazing.

And while at the post office, a lady was selling girl scout cookies. I bought 2 boxes. I did it for Emma. 


So, coming home and seeing a loss on the scale Monday morning was so unexpected but I'll take it.

Soooo, what's new with you?  

Happy Hump Day!

Monday, February 20, 2012

Skating Like a Rockstar.....Or Not.

Welcome to another edition of Talk To Us Tuesday hosted by the extremely busy supermomma, Shawn, and myself.

I want to share another embarrassing story with you today {because you can always count on me to embarrass myself for blog fodder} and I promise to keep it short ESPECIALLY if you read yesterday's crazy facebook stalker post. I'm assuming if you read it, your eyes are just now recovering. It was brutally painful and I'm sorry.

After my very first year of teaching, I wanted to do something special for my annoying, ungrateful adorable little brats 3rd graders to celebrate completing the 1st year. We decided to do a roller skating party. All the parents had to do was drop their child off and pick them up. I took care of the rest.

Now, this was back in 2002 so roller blades were all these kids had ever known. Mrs. IA had never tried on a pair of roller blades so Mrs. IA opted for the "old timer" skates {as one of my favorite students so lovingly called them}.
Who remembers these bad boys?
I got myself warmed up on the rink and before long, I was BACK IN THE GROOVE, showing off and gettin' all fancy like I did back in junior high.

As I'm making a turn, I got a little too fancy and I took the biggest fall of my adult life. I went stomach first onto the rink and slid about 500 feet {or maybe just a few feet}. I busted my chin, scraped up both knees and I felt like someone punched me in the stomach.

As a few of my students were helping me up, I caught a glimpse of some parents laughing hysterically. My first thought was HOW RUDE! It was at that moment that I realized little Tommy's dad had captured my glorious, embarrassing splatter ALL.ON.FILM.

I was all the talk around the 3rd grade floor on Monday.


What are you talking about today? 

P.S. Today, there should be 32 magnificent gifts making their way to the post office to share some seriously impulsive goodness with their swap partner! I can't WAIT to see what everyone receives!!! 

I'm also linking up with Stacy!



My Facebook Stalker

I have a stalker. This very young but cute hispanic guy used to work as a janitor at my previous school. He was a nice guy. He didn't speak English very well but we joked around about my room being too messy from our science experiments or about the mud tracks from recess, blah blah blah. 

When I left Texas and moved back to Oklahoma in 2008, he helped M and I pack up my files and furniture into my vehicle. He friended me on facebook shortly after.

Everything was "normal" until I received the following as a facebook private message.  

It's LOOOONG {and unedited with broken English} so please SKIM:

June 19, 2011
i like ur eyes
i like ur lips
i like the way u touch me
everthing that u have i like
the only mistake 
that i may have
wake up feeling like i dnt feel nothiing
dreaming about u is the only 
thing keep me alive 
it may be too late 
and u may never come
back even if u know if know
this was real 
even my reason were 
stronger than ur s
if i desreve this punishmet
for feeling somthing 
that born without asking
i will pay no matter what
no matter if take years
or life
before anything else
i wish the best of luck
i can define my feeling with word
or actios beacuse the havent discoevred
what i feel 4 u
i can't hate u for anything
it was my self that 
tought that love was real
but is not
that a poor dude like me
could have more than what he
can carry in his own puckets
that real love some how become his
best friend and time pay him back

but is no that esay
Christy I sorry but if i have to lie tonight
i will say that i hate that evey drop
of beer wine of tequila is no to forget u is to
keep u in me forever
and that Emmanuel that u meet is
dead by now if there is a heaven
or a hell for me he will watch u
that the gay stand by to u make u happy
i dony how to tell u i love
beacuse i never know how
it feels
the only thing that i hate is lie
congratulations u have a beautiful babe
i dont care if my life end today tomorrow
or any way
i never regret what i did
if i have to live it again it wont matter
because after that
i dead
water and oil doesn't n i don't
if i wrong or right
but if that how god gave
this life i dont regret
and if there is an after life i wish to live the same life
now u see who the loser
but like i said i aint moving my finger
to hurt
even if im a fish without
if some how my life was
over tomorrow the onlly thing
that i wanted even if is a secret
that i think of u every thing
drunk or not
ur smile eyes and sound of voice

or in dreams is going be hard to get out
my head
sorry is no ur fault is
mine but i wont forget u ever,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, bye thank u for everthingi dont know what was my luck to give u everthing i have

WTH was that all about? More than 1/2 of it makes no sense what-so-ever. This was completely out of left field and disturbing. 

Of course I let M read it and immediately deleted him as a friend. WHAT A WHACK JOB! 

And then on Friday, I received this one:

Hi i wished a word could define mine feeling for u but ain't the only reason that I open an account on face is because really wanted to know u were ok and that I care about u I been for so many thing in an age that for some can be worst.
If I drink is my fault a no body else I wish I could understand my own self better I also wished things were a lot different and that I never fall for u . Liked I did and Idk if I'm but every now and then I pray for u n u daughter which I congratulate with all my heart . I not ask to come or anything I only wish to say good bye for all the shot but great moments that we shared since then I alway got u here in my Mine and heart.
I don't think no One can't change my tough or feel but I can't always fake I can't lie of how many time I prayed to god to see u again. I m not asking for love or compassion but who know what would happened tomorrow I never have told ur name just there that special some one tha I have and let go as well that I never try anything more than a kiss just because I believed thats the only way to show her that I feel something special .... I have been with girls but not one that has change anything
I'm sorry for all the headche but thank u for make believes and care for u
I hope u hate and never never answer this message and a good bye because I'm deleting this account
Once again thank you and bye take care and u little baby
I have never found that word when you asked me what I felt for u o what was love for me......
But I never give up some day I will bye
One last thing sorry for all that shit that I wrote when I was drunk but made felt like I could change the world the way I dream it.

OMG. This guy is a freak with a huge imagination. I'm soooo lucky that he doesn't know where I live. It's freaking me out a little. I'm choosing to ignore him and hopefully, it will be his last contact with me. *fingers crossed*

Have YOU ever had a crazy stalker? Do tell!!

P.S. Link up with Shawn and I tomorrow for Talk To Us Tuesday! We have no rules so why not?  

Annnnd.....I haven't forgotten about you. I was in Texas last week and I didn't blog while we were gone but I PROMISE I'll be making some rounds today and tonight. I hope you still love me. 


Friday, February 17, 2012

A Nana's Love

Hey friends! Since I'm still out of the state, I'm gonna finish out THE WEEK OF LOVE with an adorable video of Emma and her Nana {only 1 minute long}.

If this isn't LOVE, I don't know what is!

Bless her heart. She was never a cheerleader. What a Nana wouldn't do for her granddaughter--even when it makes you almost pee your pants.  Good times!  We love you, NANA!

I'll be visiting you all next week! Have a great weekend~



Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Weigh-In Wednesday

If you've been following me for a few weeks, you know that I've been on a strict diet called the Dukan Diet{click for more information}

I normally do a weigh-in post but I'm down in Texas enjoying my old stoppin' grounds and causing trouble somewhere so I won't be able to weigh until we return. SO SCARY!!!!

In the meantime, I wanted to leave you with things I've personally learned so far:

*DRINK. Water is essential in a weight loss journey. {Too bad alcohol can't play into this}
*POOP. Fiber is also needed daily. You don't wanna be full of shiz, do you?
*MOVE. You won't lose weight sitting on the couch. No gym membership needed. Get up and move yo AZZ even if that means walking in place as you watch your favorite tv show.
*EAT. You need to feed your body at least 1200 calories a day. Eating any less will stall your weight loss. I learned this already. 
*TALK. Blog about it. Tell a friend your goals. Be held accountable somehow. It will help you stay on track and be successful longer.

My mom snapped a picture of M and I this weekend with my phone. M is down 22 pounds already. Bastard. We both are wearing clothes that we haven't been able to wear in a while. It's a great feeling!
NEVER MIND MY FLAT, UNWASHED HAIR. The headband obviously wasn't a good choice. No need to judge me.

What are your tips? 
I'll add them into next weeks post.


Monday, February 13, 2012

The Day of LOVE?

Welcome to TTUT with your hosts Seriously Shawn and yours truly.

Are you having a FABULOUS Valentine's Day so far? I hope your special Valentine doesn't cave in to flower shops who rake up the charge of a dozen roses 500%. It's such a rip off. A box of chocolates usually last longer anyway. Well, maybe not.


So today is the day of LOVE, right? I was going to blog about an embarrassing accident but I'll put it on hold for LOVE.

I fell head over heals in LOVE with this man {and his baby blue eyes, perfect smile, kissable lips and sexy Northern accent} 12 years ago next month:

That's not him. Hold on...

There he is! See? Pretty.

I knew he wasn't very good in the gifting department but he had a strong romantic side to him {bow-chicka-bow-wow} so I let him marry me because I knew we would have gorgeous blonde haired, blue eyed babies. ;-)

I used to say "Oh honey, don't worry about a gift as long as you get me a card". Gentleman readers: NEVER FALL FOR THIS TRICK.  Get us a flippin' gift. We want to be showered in gifts no matter what spews from our mouths. We want you to dote on us and say all kinds of wonderful things that would make other people puke.

M has to be reminded by my girlfriends {thanks Rhonda and Jenny} to get me a gift for most occasions. And thanks to facebook, if he messes up, then all of our mutual friends know about it too. *insert evil laugh*

Don't worry, I'll let you know what M gives me. I'm pretty sure he'll think of something tomorrow around noon. He's a last minute kind of guy.

And speaking of LOVE, look what MiMi made for me because she's so super sweet:
 Yarned wrapped letters! I LOVE IT!

So, what are your feelings towards LOVE today? Are you into gift giving or is Venereal Valentine's Day just another day on the calendar for you?   

Link up your Tuesday posts with us today! We have no rules so why not?

PS. Go visit my girl, Connie, for a chance to win a $100 Visa gift card. All you have to do is leave a comment telling her your most important character trait in a partner. I'll be popping over there to enter too!

Bad News/Good News

Hey Blogging Buddies!  Happy Monday to ya.

Ok, calm down. 

I'm not a morning OR a Monday person so quit acting so cheery. 

Way back in 2008 when I first started blogging, I used to do a Bad News/Good News post on occasion. Well, it's about time for another one I think.

Bad News: M figured out where I was taking him for his surprise Valentine's weekend before we actually got there. {a night away to the Hard Rock casino in Tulsa}
Good News: He loved the idea of staying the night away at a hotel and gambling our life savings away. SUPER! {And I BETTER get the hook up on a nice gift in return, Mr. IA, because I know you're nosey self is reading this!}

Bad News: The hotel clerk gave us room keys to SOMEONE ELSE'S ROOM! {No, they weren't in their room when we barged in acting like we owned the place. THANK GOODNESS!} 
Good News: We avoided what could have been a potentially awkward situation AND we were upgraded to a slightly bigger room! Boo-yah Baby!

Bad News: We met my brother and SIL for din din and M and I stuck to our craptastic diet for the most part but the waitress "accidentally" put a piece of jalepeno cornbread on my mahi and shrimp plate and I totally ATE IT ALL.
Good News: I stuck to the diet for the remainder of our evening which meant I SAID NO TO DRINKING THE CAPTAIN even though I begged M to say it was ok to have just one. He's so not fun. Hardass.

Bad News: My azz and back still ache from sitting at the 3-Card poker table for 6+ hours in between 2 non-stop chain smokers who probably gave me lung cancer. {No offense to my chain smoking blogging friends}
Good News: M and I started with $100 and we walked away from that table at 1:00am with $825 BIG ONES. HOLY LUCK BATMAN!!! TAKE THAT, HARD ROCK! *winning*

Bad News: I won't be able to blog hop too much this week as we are skipping states and going to Texas this week for M's work.
Good News: I'll be seeing some friends that I've been missing!

Look at what Miss Myya from Myya Says sent sweet little Emma in the mail yesterday:
Too bad the person that actually WON this didn't respond. Her loss is our gain!

This card was sent to me by Shawn.  Most of you know that she pees herself frequently, right? {click HERE and HERE for the vlogs that prove my point}

It's nice having a friend send a funny card that lifts your spirits when you've been down.

What good news do you have to share with me? Tell me something GOOD!

P.S. Link up your Talk To Us Tuesday post with us tomorrow. No rules. Just girl talk. Link up your weekend recap or since it's Valentine's Day, link up your amazing V-Day plans or your V-Day craft project(s).


Thursday, February 9, 2012

Booze, Brownies, and Big Balls.

It's the month of love, right? Well, I love a lot of things. 
I love my family.
I love my friends.
I love my dog.
I love massages and spa days.
I love a clean house.
I love organization.
My list could seriously go on all night.

But you know what I love that I can't have right now?

Do you know how torturous it was for me to lay out all these LOVEly items in order to shoot the picture? My willpower has big girl balls all of her own. This diet is my bitch

Yes, I need all 3 bottles of Captain and no they're not up for grabs so back up off me, Yo

Yes, I still have my cute little bottle of Patron that Shawn got me as one of my gifts in the 12 Days of Christmas Swap. It's too adorable to open! 

Yes, I still have that box of brownies that has been sitting in my pantry {screaming my name} for a couple of months now. Don't you worry your pretty little head. They will be consumed by me before the expiration date of June 2012.

Becca wants to know what we love this month for DayDreamin' Friday. I'm changing it up a bit and using booze and brownies instead of a vacation picture.
So, I wanna know.....what do you LOVE today?


Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Weigh-In Wednesday

If you are a loyal reader, you know that Wednesday's is when my angel goes to play with friends from 9:00am-2:30pm thanks to Mother's Day Out {for a whopping $8 per week}. So, I'm here to give you a quick update of my progress on the Dukan Diet{click for more information}

My weight as of January 1st: 177.9

My weight last Wednesday:   166.4
My weight today:                    165.4
Weekly loss:                              -1.0
Total weight loss:                    -12.5

It took me 5 weeks to realize that I need to eat to lose. I wasn't eating enough calories. Myfitnesspal has helped me tremendously with watching my calories. I can even scan whatever I eat into the program with my phone and BOOM--it's in. No searching. So easy.

Anyway, I'm back to having more energy for the time being. I'm walking or working out 3-4 times per week and I can finally wear every pair of jeans in my closet {with some being TOO BIG!!!}

Oh, and I can wear some cute little panties that were too small for a long time. BOW CHICKA BOW WOW!

Do you need to hear some inspiration? Motivation? How about a story of determination? Go visit my girl JennyKate's post about her weight loss journey by clicking HERE

Do you have a weight loss journey of your own? Tell me about it or send me the link. I LOVE these stories!