TTUT-The Northern Woods Edition

<br /><center><a href="http://confessionsfromanimplusiveaddict.blogspot.com/"><img src="http://i855.photobucket.com/albums/ab115/Emmymom/HiRes.jpg" /></a></center><br />
Hey y'all! Welcome back to TTUT hosted by the very sassy Seriously Shawn and yours truly. This is the one day a week we like to post and give you the opportunity to link up with NO RULES! 
SS and I have both been out of pocket lately. I'm stuck in Michigan {or shall I say "almost Canada"} and I have had very little or no internet service for the last 11 days. I totally failed at visiting everyone's link up last week. I suck balls. Go ahead. Tell me. I can handle it.
I'm leaving you with a repeat post. I'm scheduling this post since I'll be in the woods until Monday. HOWEVER, I'll be coming home on TUESDAY!! Woo hoo!! I'll miss the cool temps though.  
Here is my most viewed post written about my trip to Florida last year to see Sassy Shawn. Enjoy~
Well, as you are reading this, I am leaving my lovely co-host's gorgeous mansion house and heading back to Okieville.  We had so much fun!  Here are some highlights for you and things I've learned on my trip:

• DO NOT add OJ to Shawn's margarita.
• She likes vibration between her legs.
• She will whistle at strange men standing on the side of the street.
• She hits her kids.
• She talks to Honey about orgasms.
• She makes an interesting vajayjay symbol that a teenager taught her.
• Crotchless panties were talked about over sushi.
• She taught me phrases like "poke and hope", "spray and pray", and "baby batter".
• Two Depends are not enough to hold her full bladder if she needs to tinkle while driving.
• If you choose not to wear your seatbelt, she will brake-check your face into the dashboard and laugh so hard that she will pee.  Again.
• She pee's her pants OFTEN. Like 4 times in 5 days. Here is proof:

I will leave you with a short video from my trip to the Sunshine State. To post the whole video would have been crazy insane long and only funny to a few.  Don't worry.  There will be another video next Tuesday and if you want to see me do some pushups while intoxicated, please click HERE. 

Did you write a Tuesday post?  If so, link that baby up with us!  I will TRY to comment from the airports I will be visiting today BECAUSE THAT'S HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU! ♥ 

TTUT: Pregnancy Update

<br /><center><a href="http://confessionsfromanimplusiveaddict.blogspot.com/"><img src="http://i855.photobucket.com/albums/ab115/Emmymom/HiRes.jpg" /></a></center><br />
Hey friends! Can I still call you that? I've been sucking it up in blogland lately. I keep thinking I'll get better. Maybe I will. Don't give up on me, ok?Shawn and I host this lil link party on Tuesday's and we love when you join us so play along! No rules either! WOO HOO!
So, I'm in the middle of no where (aka upper peninsula of Michigan) where cell phone service is scarce and camping in the woods is always in the cards. You know what else is fun? When you have diarrhea in an outhouse. Yep. That's always fun. You should try that sometime.
I am stealing borrowing a post idea from my girl Stacie this week, who is also pregnant. Don't you people judge me for "borrowing". I left my creative juices in Oklahoma and the ginormous mosquitoes up here are affecting the quality of my brain waves.
Pregnancy Update 

3 months, 4 months, and 5 months

How far along are you? 20 weeks {1/2 way!!!}
Weight gain: I'm up 6 pounds as of last week. {I was very sick this month, remember?}
Maternity Clothes: Yep. I wear them but more so for comfort right now. Plus, I already had them so why not?
Any stretch marks? Nope. I hope it stays that way.
How is sleep? It's hit and miss. I think I'd sleep better right after a cold glass of Captain Morgan.
Best moment this week? Seeing my baby boy on the 20 week ultrasound and feeling him move for the first time!
Any food cravings? Not really. I seem to be eating more fruit lately. Wait....Does alcohol count as a food craving? 
Gender: He has a P E N I S so I'm assuming he's a B O Y !
Belly button in or out? In. It will most likely stay in since it never popped out with Emma. It's a deep dark place that goes on FOREVER. Being pregnant is the only time I get to clean out the lint. ;) Eww.
Any movement yet? Yep! Just a tiny bit though. That placenta being on top this time is really cramping my style. 
What I'm looking forward to: CHOOSING A NAME and trying to decide on bedding.  Do I go for a color scheme or a theme? Any help would be appreciated. I'm not having much luck. I'm leaning towards a color scheme....
I'll be camping with my girl KISS tomorrow. She's more of a city girl than me so pray for her. She's never used an outhouse before. I'll make my rounds when I'm back to civilization. I promise. 
In the meantime, drop me some more boy names because this baby needs a name and Everett is so not happening, Mr. Impulsive. 
Have a great week!!

Dear July, You Can Suck It.

<br /><center><a href="http://confessionsfromanimplusiveaddict.blogspot.com/"><img src="http://i855.photobucket.com/albums/ab115/Emmymom/HiRes.jpg" /></a></center><br />
Hey to my faithful lovies! I'm waiting patiently for my blogging mojo to come back and it's just not. I'm not sure what's up but it's kinda frustrating. I miss reading you all on a regular basis. Shawn and I couldn't do this link party without all the "regulars" linking up and we really enjoy the newbies too. Are you posting today? If so, link up--unless you don't want anyone to read your post. Then don't. =)

Lemme just give you a sneak peak into my July so far:*I had a trip to the HELL ER for a stomach issue that didn't end so well. {click HERE for that lovely story.}*Emma had a viral infection which gave her sores in her mouth so she didn't eat for 7 days.*I have strep throat. It has lasted for 5 days so far...*I had to visit a gastro specialist and the wait to talk to him for 2.5 minutes was outrageous.*I had an ultrasound to check for gallstones and some other random things. {separate appointment of course}*I went to 5 doctors in 5 days.*My precious grandmother had surgery to remove malignant tumors. {It went well. Thanks for the prayers last week!}
So, basically, JULY CAN SUCK IT. 
But I'm no Negative Nancy. Here are the positives so far for this month:
*We found out the sex of our babe. Woo Hoo!*Had a great 4th with family and friends.*Emma can "officially" swim and she's only 2.5!*I started getting People magazine in the mail. I love my trashy entertainment updates!*My momma and daddy took great care of me this month through all my ailments. Love them!*We leave for Michigan on Friday. Hello cooler temperatures! 
So, what's new with you? Anything negative or positive?
Oh, and if you haven't heard if it's a BOY or a GIRL, check out this video! ;-) 

**If you have a favorite baby name {for the gender in the video}, please PLEASE leave me a comment. This whole baby-naming business is taking a toll on my marriage. Who knew??

Talkin' on a Tuesday...

<br /><center><a href="http://confessionsfromanimplusiveaddict.blogspot.com/"><img src="http://i855.photobucket.com/albums/ab115/Emmymom/HiRes.jpg" /></a></center><br />
I am SO HAPPY to be posting my very own post this week. I was soooo ready for last week to be over. Seriously Shawn and I host a weekly link party called Talk To Us Tuesday and you guys are totally TALKING to us every week and we LOVE it! It keeps us going every single week. So, if you have a post to link up this week, please do so! There are NO RULES so how can you mess up?!?
Raise your hand if you noticed that I didn't visit you last week. *head hanging in shame* I was on my deathbed until Saturday and I'm not 100% now. I'm off to see the gastro doctor on Wednesday. WOO HOO. So, you forgive me, right? RIGHT?
Soooo, here is a pregnancy shot from month 3 and month 4. 

There doesn't look like much change but I swear there is. We had the angle off or something. Whatever. We'll do better next time.
BREAKING NEWS: We MAY be finding out what we're having today! Do you guess GIRL or BOY??
Who loves happy mail? Who loves happy mail for NO REASON AT ALL other than just being nice? Well, Shawn must have been kissing up to me about that blog post from two weeks ago because she sent Emma a cute package {with the most adorable colorful bow} that included a super-duper sized M&M, a microphone that she LOVES and a sword that I was against from the beginning but it's fake so I guess I'll live....

Yes, Emma opened her gift on-the-go since we were heading out when our mailman made his delivery. See that last picture? She sang Old MacDonald 562 times that day using that microphone.
How many of you LOVE instagram? I do too but I have a complaint. There should be (1) a maximum amount of pictures that you can post in a day and (2) No posting stupid shiz. There. I said it. And SnoopDogg? You've got huge balls for all the inappropriate pictures you post.
Ok, I'm wrapping this up with attitude: Emma-Style!

This is what you get when you have the balls to tell her no: 100% Attitude.
On a side note: Cancer has hit my family once again. Please say a silent prayer while you read this for my Grandmother who will be having a double lumpectomy this week to remove 2 malignant tumors in her breast. CANCER CAN SUCK IT.
LINK UP, LOVIES! I'll be around to visit you this week!
XOXO,

Why I Can't Blog Today

<br /><center><a href="http://confessionsfromanimplusiveaddict.blogspot.com/"><img src="http://i855.photobucket.com/albums/ab115/Emmymom/HiRes.jpg" /></a></center><br />
Hey friends and lovers! I missed blogging last week but thankfully, my super hot co-host, Seriously Shawn, filled in for me and did a GREAT job. Now, I'm asking YOU to join our no-rules link up this week. We would love to read you!


Ok, so this post really isn't a post. I've had a very interesting 24 hours. Here's a quick run-down on WHY I shouldn't be blogging today:

• Sharp stomach pains woke me up at 3:00am.
• I decided that I couldn't wait until the walk-in clinic opens at 8:00am, so I made the very brave decision to drive myself to the ER. {Remember, I live in HELL}.
• I was poked twice before they got the IV in correctly. Of course I'm bruised and swollen now. Thank you, NURSE TODD. Bastard.

• I was told I just had "heartburn".
• I told them they were wrong. 
• We settled on calling it an ulcer since I've had one before.
• I swallowed some medicine with lidocaine in it that was supposed to numb my stomach pains. It only numbed my tongue and lips. So, basically they are liars.
• They put a medicine in my IV that was supposed to "coat" my stomach and make the pain stop. It made it worse. Again, THEY ARE LIARS.
• I peed 5,423 times while there during my 4 hour vacation.
• I was released with 2 prescriptions for "the cure".
• I drive to Walgreens and throw up {A LOT} in a small white sack {that I happen to have close by} while handing the pharmacist my scripts. She looks horrified the entire time I'm in her drive-thru.
• That white bag started leaking my puke in my car. THE HELL YOU SAY!
• The stunned and speechless Pharmacist hands me a plastic sack. While trying to transfer leaking puke bag into bigger plastic bag, it explodes in my car and down the outside of my car door.
• I'm now crying PROFUSELY! Like big, ugly tears. 
• I begin cleaning up my puke with wet wipes.
• I drive home in pain while calling my mom who drops everything to come stay with me. Who doesn't want their mommy when they're sick?
• Emma is the devil today. This doesn't help my condition.
• After 4 rounds of medicine, I feel no relief. 
• I can't eat but I try sticking to the B.R.A.T. diet. {Banana's, Rice, Applesauce and Toast}.
• I keep down applesauce and toast but throw up the banana while peeing my pants. AWESOME.
• I start crying hysterically {again} because I just pulled a "Shawn". 
• I change my clothes and text Shawn who laughs at me via her reply. She's so sweet.
• I begin writing this post quickly so I can go drink some Captain and pass out.

Speaking of drinking my lover, The Captain, the baby is fine! He/She was moving and grooving during the ultrasound. At least I have that going for me.

If you have a Tuesday post going up, link it up with us. I may be a little late making my rounds, but I will be by your place. I PROMISE. Seeing you guys link up every week really makes us smile. =)

Happy Tuesday friends!