Monday, September 24, 2012

I'm Smiling and It's TTUT!

It's TUESDAY {or if you're reading on Monday night, it's almost Tuesday} and so you know what that means. It means that SS and I are spewing our randomness out here on the WWW. There are NO RULES for our link-up so link up your post too!

This week, I'm also linking up with Emmymom for her 10 Things monthly linkup. It's been a couple of months since I've participated and I've missed it.

Ready? Here we go~

1. My neighbor and I had a garage sale {my first by the way} and together we made over $1400! Now THAT'S a lot of shiz! 
The "organization" stage of preparing for a garage sale! NEVER.AGAIN.
2. I found out this month that my braces will be vacating the premises in exactly 3 weeks! WOOP WOOP! I'll be able to eat without worrying if broccoli is hanging in my mouth for all to see when I smile.  #IHateBraces #BracesCanSuckIt

3. Emma rode her first pony at our family reunion. She's a natural! She says she wants a horse but this momma refuses to clean up horse poop in the backyard. Can you imagine those ginormous piles?
Emma in front. Her favorite cousin on back.
4. I love to bake with my baby girl! No judging me for the no makeup pic OR the box of Paradise donuts on the counter OR for the jug of milk that's on the stovetop {where it clearly doesn't belong} m'kay?

5. Having both sets of grandparents at my house makes me smile. When they live 1,000 miles apart, I try to get as many pics of them here as I can!
The inlaws on the left. My Momma and Daddy on the right.
 6. I enrolled Emma in gymnastics this month. We've been twice. I doubt we go back. There are like 87 small, bratty kids running around that place and it makes me a little cray cray. Did I mention no AC? But she seriously looked adorable!

7. Little Emma Kate got a big girl bed! Her crib converts into a full size bed. I'm super sad about this HUGE change in our lives but I'm consolable knowing that I have another crib to set up!

8. Emma and her bff went to see their first movie in a theater! She looked adorable sporting the 3D glasses. After 2 trips to the bathroom, an eventful trip to the concession stand, and a clean up on aisle 10, I was ready to go home but I'm glad they enjoyed themselves.
9. Planning and executing a 40th Birthday Party for my bff, Rhonda, {aka KISS} has been a little stressful but the payoff will take place on Saturday and I absolutely CANNOT WAIT! Thanks JK and SS for all your help! 

10. And last but not least, my visit to see this beauty...
We had an AMAZING time {even though she was sick and snacking on cough drops every 10 minutes} but my detailed visit with my hotazz co-host will have to wait until next week. I have a stage 1 clinger {a sick baby girl} who hasn't left my arms or lap or sight since I returned from Florida on Sunday night. 

Here's a small preview of my post for next week:
*Cankles in full effect
*Penis nicknames
*The number 71
*What makes Shawn horny
*My life in danger while SS is at the wheel
*Shawn's new "grill"
*Her husband hijacking my phone and rubbing his nipples
*Softball, Shopping, and the Spa

I hope you link up with us this week. I'll be able to make my rounds to see you all tomorrow! YAY!

What are some things that made you smile this month?

Monday, September 17, 2012

Awkward Moments and a Pregnancy Update for TTUT

Hey there friends and strangers that read my blog! Are you here to join in with my co-host Seriously Shawn and me for some TTUT? I sure hope so! I'm trying to get back into my blogging groove but September is crazy busy for me! 

Did you know that I am flying out tomorrow to see my co-host SS? Well, I AM and I'm COMPLETELY EXCITED!!! Here's to lounging on her amazingly gorgeous back porch with a drink in hand. {I didn't say that it was ALCOHOL so quit judging me!} 

We'll be posting pics on instagram and twitter. I plan on making her consume large amounts of alcohol so I can make her pee her pants again. {But I may not need to make her drink to do that. We'll see....}You know, in a few weeks, I'll be confined to my house for MONTHS! Who wants to take 2 kids outside of the house? One child wasn't bad. I'm thinking 2 will be more challenging. Plus, you know I live in HELL so what would we do besides go to Hell-mart?

Ok, so speaking of Hell-mart, I overheard a very awkward conversation in the restroom.

Setting the scene: Old lady standing next to the handicap bathroom with ALL OTHER STALLS open.

I walk into one of the empty stalls. 
I pee. 
I blow my nose. {I'm assuming you wanted all the details}.
I hear this:

Old Lady: {knock, knock} 
Person in stall: Someone's in here.
Old Lady: Are you ok in there or what? Do you need help? {DID SHE JUST SAY DO YOU NEED HELP???}
Person in stall: What? Yes. I'm fine. I'll be right out.
Old Lady: Can you hurry up? Those girls at the hair salon are waiting on me.
Person in stall: Um, well it will be another minute. *heavy sigh*

With my mouth open, I meet the "person in the stall" at the sink.

Me: I'm sorry but that has to be the most awkward conversation I've ever experienced in a restroom.
Person in stall {now at sink}: Um, yeah, me too. {pretending to talk to Old Lady} Sorry, lady. I had to change my tampon. Sure, come on in and help me.

O.M.G. This town is whack.

Meanwhile, speaking of awkward moments, I had lunch with my Father-in-law and Emma on Saturday. The waitress was making conversation with Emma, who was sitting next to her Grandpa and mentioned giving her DADDY a bite of her corndog.

EXCUSE ME?? What did this biatch just say?? First of all, does she REALLY think he's my HUSBAND? Ewwww!!! He's my FIL!! And secondly, does she think that a 56 year old man has a 2 year old and one more on the way? I know it happens, but PLEASE! It was disturbing and I can't talk about it anymore. 

She was QUICKLY corrected.

I hate this town. 

Ok, and lastly, here's a pregnancy update for those that care. Skim, Skip, or Read it. Whatev. 

How far along?  28.5 weeks!
Total weight gain/loss: At yesterday's appointment, I had gained 17 pounds {of AZZ}. SHUT IT.
Maternity clothes? Jeans/shorts, hellz yes (and some shirts}
Stretch marks? Nope! And it better stay that way.
Sleep: Sleep? What's that like? I have INSOMNIA most nights. Oh how I miss a restful nights sleep. It won't get better for a while. I know you all are so jealous.
Best moments: Feeling him move all around and kick the crap out of me. Emma NEVER moved so I'm taking all of his movements in and cherishing them. Yes, I'm weird.
Miss Anything? Alcohol, sleep, fitting into a bathing suit....
Movement: Yes. He may be a soccer player.
Food cravings: Nah. I just really love to eat.
Anything making you queasy or sick: YO FACE. Just kidding. No.
Have you started to show yet: Ummm....yeah....
Gender: As far as I know, baby no-name still has a penis. 
Labor Signs: None
Belly Button in or out? In and it will stay in for the duration of the pregnancy. There is NO END IN SIGHT.
Wedding rings on or off? On 
Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy!
Looking forward to:  Getting his room set up and packing my hospital bag. I didn't have a chance to do that with Emma. I'm hoping he's not as excited to make his appearance! I love a good organizational task!
28.5 Weeks
What makes this picture so funny {besides the weird shadows} is that I didn't notice that sweet little Emma Kate was mocking her mommy! It wasn't the best pic of me or my roundness {why can't I just have a basketball look to my belly?} but I had to post this one!

So, what's new with you?
And where's my signature? 
So weird.

Monday, September 10, 2012

I'm Actually Talking on a Tuesday--For REAL!

Hey friends! How are ya? I'm actually feeling like posting something for today! YAY ME! Did you know that Seriously Shawn and I have been hosting this link party for nearly a YEAR? I can't believe it! It's been super fun! I hope you take some time and link up with us this week. There are NO RULES to our party so really you have no excuses! =)

I feel like complaining today. Actually, I have some people I'd like to smack. I'm sure you're dying to know if you made the list, huh? ;)

I'd like to smack the "in your face" political people on facebook. SHUT UP ALREADY! Once or twice is good enough. And before you go posting shiz on your page that takes up space in MY FEED, make sure it's true.

I'd like to smack the jackhole that pulled out in front of me today causing me to have a panic attack. It must be hard to drive, text, drink your coffee and make me pee myself all at the same time. Asshat.

*Seriously, please stop texting and driving people!*

I'd also like to smack the maker of Dice with Friends, Pinterest, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and Smartphones in general. I have addictive tendencies and those things listed above are making me seek the help of a professional. I'm gonna start having "hours of operation" posted on my iphone so I know when I can check it and when I need to be vacuuming the house.

I'd REALLY like to smack the creator of Caillou. If you don't know about this little shizhead of a boy on PBS, then be thankful. He has taught my precious lovebug some horrible habits and techniques.

And finally, I'd like to smack the disorganized teacher of Emma's gymnastics class. It is insane and chaotic and I'm not paying junior high girls to lead our future Gold Medalist into stardom. I'm paying the teacher with the bad attitude. However, I will say that I was able to snap a few cute pics today. I should invest in a leotard I suppose.

*Note to self: Only 12 weeks, 3 days, 11 hours, and 13 minutes until the Captain and I can reunite. Momma needs a DRANK.

Who would you like to smack?
And you can't say me because this is my blog and I make the rules.

I'll be around to say hi! I actually have a few hours to myself. Thank you Mother's Day Out!!! =)

Tuesday, September 4, 2012


AHHHHH!! I forgot to post TTUT last night so now I'm late! Thank you, Labor Day! 

Ok, here's the link up my sweet friends! I'll be doing a post next week I PROMISE!!!! In the meantime, LINK UP and go visit some of these fabulous blogs! =)